Category Archives: 2020HopelessAutisticRemains

Published on WordPress.com from late 2015 to part of 2017. Anger or resentment in such tone is for historical purposes only. It has been incorporated into clickfo.me platform on July 2021. I actually saw the writing on the wall that the developmentally delayed system was in failure within five years. While I wished my prediction was wrong, it actually did happen, and COVID19 was a big distraction. Some of the resentment fired up in the #LondonderryNHExposed podcast series in late ’20, early ’21

Town of Merrimack NH’s SOP: React, not Respond

Posted on by
1

During the Long Summer of 2015 (where of this writing, drafted on November 6th – the temperatures are typical for late summer), I felt very isolated. No one from the Town of Merrimack ever contacted me unless I would send something that would cause them to respond with quick actions (in this case “react”) and not respond (with thorough discussion with their citizen) or worse not inviting a private discussion face to face.

Immediately about a day or two after getting an email copy of the certified letter, I went to the source, not the messenger, the assistant to the Town Manager and went to Ms. Harrington directly with this email:

Screen Shot 2015-07-09 at 5.05.31 PM ET

 Apparently the Merrimack Town Council wasn’t interested in discussing other issue than “Kinder Morgan” (aka the Tennessee Gas and Pipeline company) and their pipeline which has been an issue all year around. even though I could care less about Kinder Morgan/Tennessee Gas Co., I’d don’t go and deny other people from speaking out, and my issue is also pressing because if Autism Speaks is causing a propaganda for misinformation – in NH –  then that explains shortages for special needs professionals. People are probably too scared to work with autistics in community of Merrimack, again a community with a significant population of developmentally disabled unlike other towns in the area (like the town of Apples?) albeit to be fair such population is not a majority.

A while after, the following next email was yet another attempt to reach out to see if they would react (err “respond”) again:

harrington email pt 2

Regardless, Ms. Harrington (or Mr. because she refers to herself as “Chairman” – with a very deep voice – so I’ll call s/he “it”!) would send yet another robotic email. I’m sorry there is professionalism, sensitivity, and being a plain pompous ass. I believe all the Town officials I’ve run into the last eleven months are the latter. Or should I say the City of Merrimack, New Hampshire.

Dear Mr. Ayotte:

               I am in receipt of your agenda request regarding communications. Before I can place your concerns on the agenda, I need more information about your specific concerns. As you are aware from prior correspondence, if you intend to make allegations of employee misconduct those allegations must be handled in a different forum. Accordingly, I have set aside your agenda request until you can provide more information about your specific concerns. Therefore, please be advised your concerns will not be on the agenda for the Town Council’s August 20, 2015 meeting. Thank you very much for your patience and anticipated cooperation.

Sincerely,

Nancy M. Harrington

Chair – Merrimack Town Council

Since when do people use email to send legalese memos? And who in the hell indents the way I show the beginning of the paragraph in today’s modern world of SMS texting? What a bunch of old bushy faced tight right conservatives or liberals!

Again the Merrimack Town Council never spoken to me, never have seen me and they are basing this not email per se- just “letters”. Back in the days when the IBM Selectric typewriter ruled the world, people could easily gotten lost of the “tone” in the multi page memos people were ordered to type. Some people would think “it’s email and people don’t understand.” The medium isn’t relevant, its the message. The message is to copy and paste probable responses and not deal with the problems and treat citizens like they are dog crap.

I’ve felt the Town of Merrimack, New Hampshire was bullying me for personal enjoyment, both the Chief of Police, the Town Manager and the Town Council.

After digging up emails by calling the compliance desk at extension COMP, I realized “communication” was referring to a separate agenda item request I did in response of the deflective, and arrogant attitude of the Town Manager and Council against the citizens in a June or July meeting, where citizens were asking for information and Ms. Cabenal was blame the citizen and say “it’s public” “it’s on our website [you fool].”

I felt that it wasn’t just me that was experiencing anti-citizen behavior. So as a result I wanted to know, how should I contact town employees, what is their methodology in responding, and what to do when they don’t give you your desired outcome because in New Hampshire municipalities, it’s the citizen who should be right, not some pompous ass town employees

Mr/Ms. Harrington and the Town Council apparently thought that this agenda item request was a backdoor attempt for me to expose the Police Chief and Town Manager, which if that’s what they believed (in an opinion) it was false (as a fact.)

If I were the state’s AG I’d be pressing charges against this board who gets away of abusing citizens to the whole world, as all meetings from the government access channel are available for public consumption on YouTube. You can see how testy they get within minutes of a public hearing.

As of October 2015, I got more information about the decision, and they didn’t believe in me. The conclusion of this sobering narrative including the denial of grievance by the leader of a rich Caucasian racist organization at the NHDRC will follow later.

*

A Step In The Right Direction

Posted on by
Reply

I was in my day program the other day; and a lady (not sure if she’s a staff or client or what have you…thanks to HIPAA laws on both the programing and HR, I probably won’t know) was there and I haven’t seen her since I departed in the “art” group back in the spring time. The lady and I spoke and conversed. She noticed my Boston Bruins lanyard and asked if worked.

IMG_1062

 

I also have this – a badge to notify people to keep a reasonable distance (typically for the “beautiful people” at the local Whole Foods and Market Basket who cut people off in the store asiles like they’re on the highway.)

I basically said, I do IT work on the side, and it’s my ID badge (and keycard, but was too lazy to state that.)  She followed up by asking, if she needed someone to fix her laptop to come to someone like me. And I replied with a yes.

I’ve never had the confidence to extend my various self-employed (I mean I’d make so little its barely even close to employment, it’s extra disposable cash.) I’ve tried to do internal projects and trying to work with family but the problem is it’s always a challenge because most often my mother would do it in favors (free lunch, breakfast, and other things that would be considered illegal like “bribing”.)

So basically my mother would not be the best investor.

But this is a step up. At least I am taking my venture more seriously and not make it some dummy company (which legally it is and probably always will be) but at least I am trying to seriously make a dent in a world where everyone is a techie and trying to follow my basic dreams for the last few years now (to no avail – at least so far.)

Transitions? OMG That’s an Awesome idea…

Posted on by
Reply

…but why are you 10 years behind the 8 ball?

I sit on a planning committee of an annual conference for families who live in my state -the state I live in, and I sit and have to listen to a couple hours almost every month about people presenting ideas about transition planning.

And I sit there quietly like a wallflower.

I sit like I have severe autism.

I remain quiet.

I don’t like to come off as threatening or combative.

I just sit there.

And hopefully people of the intellectual class and the professional class gets their heads out of their rear ends and understand that while this is good for the second or third generation of autistics (or developmentally disabled people) in my state, the state I live in – what about the thirtysomethings who are limping around the system just trying to get through a day? Some may not be able to verbalize because they can’t put their concerns into words, or they have been severely manipulated by a bunch of racist psychologists who think its OK to ruin a child’s brain at their teenage years, and screw them off as they become adults and not have any clue what unintended consequences they do to these people.

Excuse me for being crass: I could care less about the goddamned spoiled rotten brats in special ed! Who gives a flying bleep about “the children!” What about the goddamned adults that the professionals could care less about?

I wished I wasn’t a monster, but I sadly became one in many ways thanks to the goddamned idiots running SAU 12, GLEC and dare I say “Doctor” Teresa Bolick who with all their failures caused me to become a scary person. Now I know why people run away from me. It’s these nitwits that should be on death row!

The controlled rants are over. 🙂

If you’re new to this site, let me be clear: I live in a state where we were the first in the nation to close a statewide “school” for autistic like people; but its also the same state where people have pushed “progressive” agendas that have resulted in “regressive” actions. I also live in the most richest towns probably per capita and those communities have absolutely zero tolerance for people with developmental disabilities (if you are under the age of say 21.) You (or your child, your “friend” from elementary school, or family member) has basically been hopeless since entering middle school; and some of these people have been hopeless as early as the end of the 20th Century. 

“It’s too like Laconia” – Is Community Based Supports a Reversed “Cookie Cuttered” System?

Posted on by
1

I’m going to pop a question: Is “Community Based Supports” just a glorified word for a reversed cookie-cuttered system?

I’m not an advocate, but I am active in the special needs community more than I have before. Some families have opted to keep their children or individuals to be in what some will say it resembles of Laconia State School. It’s even scandalous to the point where the Bureau of Developmental Services will question families or agencies because the federal funds are supposed to be used in “community based supports.”

But why in the hell are we telling families what they can or cannot do? Isn’t just as bad if authorities tell every family to put their able bodied child into an institution because that’s a one sized fits all?

The problem with the group-think of the out of state special interest groups, is families can have a “choice” but that “choice” may differ to what the family feels living in their own closed-minded community.

It is very important to focus on the state I live in, and that Pittsburg is very diferent to Salem; just like how Claremont is very different to say Dover. The problem is all the “progressive”, “let’s take down Laconia like places for our own political capital!” doesn’t go well for the entire state.

The progressive movement will refuse to believe any “regressive” agendas (such as lack of training, tolerance or understanding) in actually the largest communities in the state, just an hour north of the Boston, Massachusetts city line.

And that’s the real problem. People can talk all day about forcing other adults to accept autistics, but the problem is you cannot, and will not change a vast majority of adults of how they view developmentally disabled people. 

Also many autistics, or Dev Disabled people, stick to their own group. If they feel comfortable being in their own groups (say a Special Olympics outing/event), then why are you insisting that’s “not good enough”?

Sadly a lot of this agenda comes from the many special interest groups, which I’ll leave nameless, but any of them on US302, NH Route 3 and the side streets of Downtown Concord, which I think you got the picture.

Why I’m not in a Career

Posted on by
Reply

I’ve just joined Instagram about a few months ago. In fact the reason why I didn’t have such account was that I was running a 3 year old operating system and a phone that would barely handle iOS7. I got a new iPhone in June (5s, 16GB on a LTE network.) My first “SOS” for help from “adults” was in late that month when made the “#HopelessAutistic” on the sand, with a signature on the lower right, to claim a picture esque moment. When I noticed the two younger ladies doing something with their phones, I wasn’t sure where it would go.

So to be “ahead of the curve”, I posted it on Instagram, after registering an account.

The account had morphed into criticizing the Town government, selfies of hopelessness, and technology, mostly of telephony.

A reciprocal follower named patch_cord_pbx, a person, thing or it from the area (from what I can gather) asked me this recently:

“[Avaya’s IP Office] Server edition is crazy awesome @stevenclickford ,, your interest is great why don’t you work for telecom[?]”

I did not respond because I felt there was much needed story to go without posting it all on Instagram.

Continue reading →

Police, Autism Speaks, and Anti-Autism Agendas

Posted on by
Reply

This blog, I found from a conversation I had with someone on Twitter who was offended by an earlier post on one word I used to describe a significant advocate. (Of which I standby, because people use words to describe things and if they’re unsure, well what other words can they describe…lighten up.)

I want to post something positive from this writer. On the blog, a post last month described their frustrations against a walk at the National Mall in D.C.  As with many of the autistic advocates, they have pushed the same narrative over and over “Autism Speaks doesn’t allow anyone with autism to speak and they let only 4% of the budget to go to families and/or individuals”. This makes people like me sleepy of hearing the same thing over and over and over.

However, these individuals were targeted by police. Let’s quote a paragraph on this issue:

The people who donate to Autism Speaks, by and large, don’t know any of this. I spent the majority of the protest talking to people and handing out informational flyers. Almost all of the people I interacted with were shocked at how poorly Autism Speaks serves autistic people. Others were happy to learn why some people don’t like the organization, as they had been curious. A few people brushed us off entirely. We didn’t press them. Most of our group stood silently, occasionally making friendly gestures.

here’s what gets interesting:

Then, the rally organizers called the police. I don’t know what the Autism Speaks organizers told the officers about us. Given the amount of hostility we faced, it probably wasn’t good. 3 armed police officers were sent to deal with 6 people holding damp cardboard signs. They told us to move to a less visible spot across the street. After a quick discussion with Rachel Best, the leader of the Autistic Self Advocacy Network DC chapter, we decided to comply with the officers’ request. We tried to move to a different location with better visibility. We were told to move again. The second time, we were told that if they saw us again, they would arrest us.

Now lastly, this is how not to advocate:

 This was not my first protest. This was, however, different from any other protest I’ve been to. When I marched with Black Lives Matter and Slutwalk, there were hundreds of us. We filled the streets. We obstructed traffic. I felt powerful. I felt like I was making a difference. Being one of a handful of protesters standing against an event that attracted thousands was demoralizing. I was happy to spend time with other Autistic people, but I couldn’t help feeling some despair. When there are so many of them and so few of us, how can we change anything?

You cannot just block traffic, and act like a brat and be above the rules. What this advocate did in the first two paragraphs are within reason, and why did the police question or threaten arrests? This is one side of a story, there maybe another side.

I wanted to post this because I want to prove the Merrimack, NH Police Department and the Merrrimack, NH Town Council that my advocacy against Autism Speaks (Not “ANTI-Autism Awareness”) was within reason – and I am not one of those people cited above. I don’t care if you are black, a lesbian, severely autistic, suffer with CP, you must follow the rules, and always listen to the cops. If you want to question them, you do it after the fact. Social media and email in my case made my problem worse. In my situation, I was on town right of way, on the sidewalk, but I think what bothered the Chief of Police was I had “a camera mounted on a tripod” that caused him to question me (and insult my town – again with a number of developmentally disabled people) within an hour by Retweeting (and perhaps posting a link on Facebook) to Light it Up Blue. And all emails I’ve sent were professional and didn’t contain threats or inappropriate languages.

If you want to be taken seriously, you must follow what these individuals or what I did. Stay on point, change the narrative at times, and understand that some people may still believe in Autism Speaks and sadly you can’t change their views. All you have to do is move on and hope to find other people who share the same thoughts.

Health Issues of being a Hopeless Autistic

Posted on by
Reply

Since my teenage years, my health resulted in two major issues (since resolved)

  • Severe acne, (due to a large dairy intake), which resulted in migrating away from day to day dairy intake, to the infamous acne medication which can cause massive issues if you accidentally knocked up a woman (which I’m forgetting the name and the FDA program for a moment)
  • A case of an underbite. My mother has kicked herself for not addressing the problem sooner, and this also caused my teeth to be worn because of grinding at night. Regardless, we waited to get a mouth guard till I went on a surgery that moved my upper jaw forward along with a second round of braces. This also rebooted my confidence and gave me a smile that people remember me when I was younger. The underbite (or TMJ) made my face look very different. While the surgery was for substance, not worrying about “jaw clicking”, etc., this was necessary.

Both cases were from my father’s genes/side of the family. I’m not going to finger this on the father I have no idea who the hell he is, and not the diet, that is stereotypical autistic diet, but more of what happened in 2004 to 2008.

I was on some medications I shouldn’t had been on to begin with. The medications caused me more anxiety and paranoia, that I feel had a contributing factor to why I was not developing like my other teenage peers. The fear of messing up, the fear of being targeted for mistakes, the fear of being a creep among remaining in one piece for 7+ hours on weekdays factor in my legitimate case of autistic behaviors had perhaps 80% of the physical damage on both the acne and underbite – again even if it was genetic from my father. 

I’ve made a lot of notes from recollection of those painful years (in some cases the worst years of my younger adult life) to convert that energy from pain to preventable measures. And those doctors are well aware of that.

Where I am going at is despite all the analytical gathering I’ve complied and made conclusions; of if I changed my diet, laid off medications, and alike, that I wouldn’t be where I would become. No, I do believe a very oppressive, and depressive support system, that was “support” in legal name only had a lot to do with my regression. (And no, I’m not talking about just the regression of my first 16 months out of school ether.)  I’m almost as smart, bright or functioning as some of my peers of 10 years ago today. I could’ve had a brighter future if it weren’t for being in a system where people had no business working in.

These treatments were very expensive and luckily my mother’s healthcare plan had me in the system because of my “pre existing conditions” that basically, in my mothers recollection began months after birth.

Estimates of an autistic’s lifespan for services and medical expenses alike will average $2 to 3 million dollars. Do I want to be a million dollar man? No. If you put adequate supports with people who really mean what they are doing, professionals who only care about the students when they are “on the clock” and aren’t just following the robotic SOPs, and poor planning in logistics, etc., maybe some people wouldn’t need to go to Boston and stay a few nights or go into a very complex anti acne treatment. Maybe my teeth wouldn’t be as short as it is.

Of course, my solution to the problem is, love, respect, happiness, and mitigating problems over “curing” but of course showing respect to students would be “unprofessional” as they have to be the control freaks because by law that’s what they get paid to do, destroy your dreams “say no” because “you’ve never heard ‘n’ or ‘o’ too many times” and other BS which needs to be destroyed.

Divided Special Needs “Teams” = Hopeless Autistics

Posted on by
Reply

I laugh about how there are IEP “team meetings” because in reality, there apparently is an “I” in the word team.

At least on the special ed level, and least in some areas in the Granite State.

Again in some areas, the culture in the special ed system, is all about silos, firewalls and safety mechanisms to protect each others interest. Unless you have the luxury of having an advocate involved, you’re out of luck.

I really am saddened how the New Hampshire special education and special needs system is all political. Sadly in your child’s live its not like Speaker of the House Tip O’Neil (D, Mass) and President Ronald Reagan (R) where they had differences, but worked in the best interest of the United States. On a very nano level, an IEP team is more divided than a political caucus. What’s more disturbing is the politics are more divisive when the child is in that grey years of 18 to 21.

There is no such thing as unity, unification, a common goal for the individual themselves. It’s political exploitation, manipulation and not enforcing basic IDEA rights and getting away with it only because the family is too ignorant or too poor to take legal action. Perhaps being too scared for recourse by the school systems.

This type of division I am a victim of. I use present tense, because the chars of glass that was broken in the high school years have not been put fully back together.

The system is broken. We need to stop having the professionals think about what they want from the child, and be open to what child or family wants. The disruption to the existing system should’ve began 10 to 15 years ago, but of course, politics stalled this. Now we need to enforce this disruption of service delivery so this nightmare of hopeless autistics can stay as a bad dream instead.

Help from a Doctor that Knows Adult Autism!

Posted on by
1

2017 Preface: These sets of concerns had dated over a year before, hence it sits in the 2014 category.

Unlike Asperger’s Syndrome types who claim they have “Aspergers by self-diagnosing”, I for one won’t stoop down such levels. I’ve tried to find a therapist, a doctor, (an MD or dare I say a “PhD”) and there hardly is anyone skilled with autism for adults.

Everything is for “the children” but adults with autism are being just treated the same exact way as the first generation (births between 1987 to 1992/3) because for whatever reason there is a lack of resources for adults. They know what’s happening to “the children” because when the said groups become adults – this is what they will be expecting. So if that is the case, why not wait? And why are you letting the first generation suffer? Why in the hell in 21st Century, could autism been the first case of civil rights of progressive actions unlike Down’s (which took too many centuries too long) to address? And, with all the technology in the world (the Web, Internet, PCs, cable networks, etc.) are we still addressing like its the 1960s, of slow actions, misleading information in the media; why does society have regressive radical opinions like how the 60s was in general?  

Continue reading →

Obamacare and Autistics – Perfect Match To Work?

Posted on by
Reply

I do not believe a socialized system has sustained for over a generation without falling apart completely. In the UK, their socialized healthcare system has been proven to be deadly, and while some “Aspies” will say “what’s wrong, everything seems to be good”. Well have they read papers like the Daily Mail? Oh wait, that’s a “racist”, “conservative” outlet.

You can never win to these people.

I digress.

While I do personally believe Obamacare (a.k.a. the “Affordable Care Act”) is not the best option for America (due to its problems from the very beginning) one can’t help to take advantage of working less than 32 hours a week without meeting the requirements to be eligible for Obamacare.

Granted my last job I had was about 8 months before Obama got elected, and I was working about 20 or so hours. I’ve used that as a barometer for attempts for jobs that would be perfect for Obamacare (retail, service jobs, etc.)

However, when I go to my local Uno’s or go to any store at the local mall, I don’t see many people with a visible disability. At a chain (or even a mum and pop restaurant) it’s ether lesser people or most ordering is placed through a glorified tablet (hopefully not an Android, but I fear it is one!)

Many people with a developmental disability could be taken advantage in a positive way to “contribute to society” and many would be willing to work in such sectors.

The question is… where are they? And are these companies taking advantage (positively) to hire these people to comply with Obamacare/ACA?

Well I popped that question to the state’s head of Vocational Rehabilitation last spring at an annual family support conference in front of hundreds of people.

I was told by her that there was a study the Federal Government was supposed to release, but apparently it’s been kept from the public, essentially.

Hey what about President Obama’s promise for an open and transparent government? And I thought he was supposed to be accommodating to people with developmental disabilities?

And where’s the outrage?

Basically I’ll end with the bumper sticker-esque line (which is true in my case) “Don’t Blame Me, I voted for McCain!” and “Don’t Blame Me, I voted for Mitt!”