2023 – Pissed Off!

I start the new year, just feeling pissed that the developmentally delayed population has officially been politicized against my group not necessary republicans vs. democrats, but old ladies that want their kids to remain kids. I am drafting the reposting of 2012 era An Alleged Autistic scribes and the things i had thought then, I couldn’t imagine would happen today.

Me and my group are institutionalized, but it’s covered up in community environments without a brick and mortar facility. I’ve talked about the day program problems, and recovering from the abuse from narcissists in the environment in 2019, 2015-16, and the school district environments, but it didn’t take till the pandemic to realize this was a reoccurring trend and how really bad the recovery is probably going to go away by 2027. and we lost a few years… sorry to say.

But my hatred in life is real, raw and worse than anything I had previously written about. Because it impacts me, and I feel personally worthless that it only took less than 5 years to destroy a system that worked, to something the experts thought would be better, and now I am facing enemies that of course they’ll point the finger at your’s truly and those people will never take any responsibility for their inactions in a state that tells you to pull yourself by the bootstraps.

Since The Twitter Files and The Facebook Files is a-thing, a project for Spring 2023, is The Bureau of Developmental Services Files. I will share redacted emails of paper trails I left on my end in a very complex relations with the highest power of adult services while they had comingled with the annual family conference. While speaking as someone with a disability to these people who coincidentally knew my case; the boundaries were so blurry, that even I was gaslit by these people who still work for the agency. Since those emails are on archived servers, it will take time for me to recover and then share them, but in short when crap hit the fan in the spring of 2016 with me, there was a lot of things they were looking at to the point where people asked why was the concerns against me not addressed?

Happy 2023 – So Pissed Off

I start the new year, just feeling pissed that the developmentally delayed population has officially been politicized against my group not necessary republicans vs. democrats, but old ladies that want their kids to remain kids. I am drafting the reposting of 2012 era An Alleged Autistic scribes and the things i had thought then, I couldn’t imagine would happen today.

Me and my group are institutionalized, but it’s covered up in community environments without a brick and mortar facility. I’ve talked about the day program problems, and recovering from the abuse from narcissists in the environment in 2019, 2015-16, and the school district environments, but it didn’t take till the pandemic to realize this was a reoccurring trend and how really bad the recovery is probably going to go away by 2027. and we lost a few years… sorry to say.

But my hatred in life is real, raw and worse than anything I had previously written about. Because it impacts me, and I feel personally worthless that it only took less than 5 years to destroy a system that worked, to something the experts thought would be better, and now I am facing enemies that of course they’ll point the finger at your’s truly and those people will never take any responsibility for their inactions in a state that tells you to pull yourself by the bootstraps.

Since The Twitter Files and The Facebook Files is a-thing, a project for Spring 2023, is The Bureau of Developmental Services Files. I will share redacted emails of paper trails I left on my end in a very complex relations with the highest power of adult services while they had comingled with the annual family conference. While speaking as someone with a disability to these people who coincidentally knew my case; the boundaries were so blurry, that even I was gaslit by these people who still work for the agency. Since those emails are on archived servers, it will take time for me to recover and then share them, but in short when crap hit the fan in the spring of 2016 with me, there was a lot of things they were looking at to the point where people asked why was the concerns against me not addressed?

#

Hide Under a Baseplate?

A baseplate is typically a bottom foundation piece for a Lego structure.

I want to hide underneath that foundation at this point.

In the last few years, social conservatism has doubled year over year. For instance, in 2021, I started to see more online content on masculinity, in 2022, the toxic types like Kevin Samuels and Andrew Tate came out of the woodwork. By the end of the year, /r/tradfem blew up from the bottom, really strange people like JustPearlyThings has had a large following and “RealFemSapin” has gotten alot of hard right social conservatives to come out of the bunker to dismiss a vast majority of people they don’t tolerate.

Continue reading

2022: Year in Review

This year, I rebooted the Hopeless, Outspoken, Alleged “Autistic”, No community was built. Perhaps I had been slandered as an “ableist” in 2015 that never went away. For whatever reason, in 2011 to 2012 I had something going. I still have screengrabs of the Google search referrers.

Continue reading

The Fall Mayhem (New Service Agreement)

That annual paperwork, contract, it may depend on locale, but in New Hampshire for 21+ folks, it’s called a Service Agreement (since autism isn’t just for lost-little-boys; this is not an IEP portal.)

My case management is better than what I had a few years ago. It’s not to say I need to be careful.

Continue reading

The Ol Woman’s Instable Self

In the last couple of years, I see my mother becoming easily more fragile; more erritable such as her phone’s SXM app not working for less than one minute as we go from WLAN to WWAN networks in the driveway. Or even politics. I see my mother go a direction I don’t think is healthy. On the ride home from grocery shopping, on a dark and stormy night I kidded about how the town I live in is too cheap, and it’s too expensive to repaint the streets. I told her I saw the bill for the town’s property tax and how much the school district is over the town.

That lead to some inferences of what you see on the Fox News Channel like the out of control school board meetings. My mother got defensive rather quickly, and I spoke calmly, just picking a scab. Well much like how your mother catches you for picking a scab, well I was getting caught for not having a Caucasian-grievance attitude like what you have seen in say Loudon Country, Va.

In less than five minutes my mother who had kidded to me when we got home she has put up with me for 3 1/2 decades, she doesn’t see any hypocrisy or any hack arounds to advocate for students. I brought up PTA meetings, but my mother had identified herself as “working parent”; but she used to work from Wednesdays to Sundays so she could be at home with me, at the price of not having weekends together. So she could’ve gone to PTA or been with the SPED family group. I think reality the PTA types tend to have “elite” types of people so that maybe the codeword.

This is direct-democracy at work, just whine and bitch to school board meetings and not follow proper procedures that are bounded by law. Our society is becoming a dragway in the most literal sense, no one wants to follow speed limits and people insist that say an interstate is theres and limited access highway should be a freeway, and as a result we have people literally getting arrested for going over 100mph more and more now.

#

Melanie’s Passing – 1 Year, 5 Months (Yesterday)

It was a year and five months ago yesterday, Melanie left my part of the world in the most tragic way causing a media circus in the minifig world because of her legacy of her great grand family settling in the southern brick england.

Melanie dumped me almost 3 years ago. This is why her suicide feels so long, because it was just over 1 year and 5 months when she dumped me (Feb 14th, 2020 in an email.)

Melanie’s loss feels more like 4 years of grief.

Melanie is no longer in me. I can’t let her go but her voice is not inside me, I cannot hear her, and I don’t know how to grieve a loss of a soul I chose to not burry for the optics of family.

I miss Melanie dearly. Every. Freckin. Day