Online Dating – OK for “Normal” scared girls – NOT OK for ANYONE with ASD.

<bitching/>
People asked me in the past why do I not use online dating services. Well its because a whole slew of reasons, mostly because of girls being bitches.
I can’t keep track of how many times I have been on many online dating services. Every occurance, was to “just look” because paying $150+ for a contract with limited odds of finding someone online was thin right from the start.
This was around 2007 – 2008.
I’ve tried Match.com (the biggest rapists of a customer’s dollar), Zoosk (not as wasteful, but never subscribed) to OkCupid. OkCupid has been recently bought out by Match.com, Barry Diller’s InterActive Corp, which scored obsecene profits in the quarter of Valentines Day, though its still the same. (at least in the near future.)
The problem with OkCupid (even if you pay a little extra for additional stalking features and no messaging limits) is the users are pretty skeptical. Do I need to say what gender? Yes, you guessed right, Women, females, the ones that had been allegedly abused before.
I’ve been on OkCupid for about a month in the current carnation (I had an account late last year), but since I tried and tried, its these damned girls that ruin it for EVERYONE.
I did a lookup of a reversed matches of guys. Now on OkCupid, they have a multi light status of how often they reply to messages. Red means very selectively, yellow means they reply selectively and green means they reply often. Now every guy i found in my area was all green across the board. When you find females its all mixed, and in some cases (depending on their default picture if its pinned up – sorry for being sexist) they have a red light status.
Now why in the hell is females always so scared of guys. Where are the females that take advantage of guys? THERE is a decent number, but since the 60s came along and we were suffered with the Gloria Steinem types and girls being girls, and women doing whatever the hell please, NO one EVER wants to CALL them OUT! I am OFFENDED by the “feminism” movement because its fucking reversed-sexism!
And of course, since I have a goddamned developmental disorder, that is shunned thanks to the liberals that have MADE US QUOTE ON QUOTE  “DISABLED”, it puts even a deeper risk for the women!
Don’t get me started of being afraid that a girl will think I am a “looser” because I live with my mother and presently don’t work and I don’t drive. Jeez, whose the real “open minded” people on these damned dating service? Me!
And the other thing they work in “special education helping people with autism” or they work as an ABA. Yup, I can’t touch those people with a 10 foot pole, not that I am in school anymore, its because why in the hell would they want to come home to a disabled person since they do it for a day job.
Yup people ask me why I don’t do this stuff – its because its the bitches on these damned dating sites!
This is the many reasons why I just want to hate instead of being loving. The WOMEN are ruining society!
It would be so fucking awesome if a few would be taken off the planet! The world doesn’t need another bitch on the planet!
</bitching>

Howie Carr is at it again with the attack on EBT Cards (EDIT V3)

April 27th, 2012 Update:  Some background to this column. A few weeks ago, after the initial outbreak of EBT card abuse, the liberal governor, Deval Patrick had accused the Boston Herald of attacking the welfare abusers, while calling it “anecdotal” and essentially downplaying what the Herald had allegedly stirred up. He felt there was a consipsary theory by believing the Herald was trying to get the people “angry” about the abuse. This story that I am putting color to came from an April 20th article in the Boston Herald.  While this post was written back in mid April, the controversy is still hot. I felt since Howie’s column from early April had excessive ranting and bitching, and I noticed there some of the quoted phrases, I felt there needed to be another edition to this post.

April 17, 2012 Editorial Note: The author of this blog had quoted the entire column of Howie Carr from the Boston Herald in verbatim  because there was no parts of the column that we believe that we could quote to put into proper context. We apologize in advance for quoting the entire column, and we hope the editors of the Herald screen his columns a bit better. He was bitching way too much about this problem like a little 10 year old girl

Here’s another reference to Howie Carr’s excessive rant’s on the legitimate abuses of EBT cards. Most people with developmental disabilities use these cards in legitmate purposes. It takes the many bad apples to ruin it for the disabled.  However Carr like many of his readers and listeners are actually against *all* welfare and they disregard any disability outside ones who are physically and crippled types.
Here is his column from this past Wednesday (no copyright infringement is intended)

State Auditor Suzanne Bump says the only evidence she’s seen so far of EBT card abuse are “anecdotes.”
So Suzanne, here’s another “anecdote” that went down in Roxbury last Friday night.
The drug control unit out of Area B-2 made a heroin bust on Fayston Street near Blue Hill Avenue. They arrested a party named Kimball Clark, and after he was lugged, Clark got to make his one phone call. According to the police report, here’s what happened:

 “Once booking was completed and Suspect Clark made his telephone call as allowed, he was heard by Officer Flaherty stating to whomever he had called ‘GET MY EBT CARD AND GO TO THE ATM AND GET THE MONEY TO BAIL ME OUT, GET ME OUTA HERE TONIGHT.’ ”

Those are the cops’ capital letters, by the way. Let’s look on the bright side, though. What this means is that not every welfare recipient is using his EBT card to buy jewelry or tattoos or go on ship cruises. Some of them are using their EBT cards for … bail money.
Auditor Bump is going to do a report on the Department of Transitional Assistance, and she wants to get beyond these pesky anecdotes “that end up polarizing the participants in the discussion.”
And I hear the moonbats saying, you’re just demonizing the most vulnerable members of our society, the people who fell through the safety net, the victims of George Bush and Halliburton. This poor oppressed citizen has no money, right?
Wrong. Back to the report:
“Officer (Kevin) Clark recovered (5) five separate folds of United States Currency from Suspect Clark’s person, one fold containing $12.00 and the second contained $65.00, these were located in Suspect Clark’s left front pants pocket. The remaining three folds were recovered from Suspect Clark’s wallet, one contained $100.00, the second contained $81.00 and the third contained $500.00, the total money seized was $758.00.”
When was the last time you had $758 cash walking around money? And I’ll bet you don’t even have an EBT card.
Another anecdote, from the police report:
“Officer then observed Suspect Clark look at his cellular phone.”
The man has a cellphone, too! Granted, so does almost everybody nowadays, but if he claims to be so broke that he needs an EBT card to make ends meet, how can he possibly afford even a cheapo phone?
Clark was charged with distribution Class A drugs, distribution Class A drugs within 1,000 feet of a school zone and distribution Class A second offense.
According to the BPD, this EBT cardholder is a convicted drug dealer.
How many more anecdotes do you want Auditor Bump?

Source, bostonherald.com Wednesday, April 11th, accessed on April 13th, 2012

Well Howie, there are some autistic listeners and readers of your show and Herald columns and I as for one a bit tired of you making the whole EBT and “welfare” (as he simplifies it) all evil.
This is the worst time suffering with autism and seeing the abusers making everyone look bad.

Autism Awareness Month: The Asperger Syndrome vs Autism debate

I want to turn the attention by going into the wayback machine to 1994.
In the early 90s, when I was getting several evaluations for diagnosis because I was such a misfit, I couldn’t fit into the proper “label”. In about 1994, around the time the current DSM was in the process of being published, my SPED case manager had given my mother the following handout about Asperger Syndrome. She had said to her that “Steven doesn’t fit but there are some similarities” like statement. Again, this was in the early 90s, way before autism, AS or whatever disorder or disease became into the mainstream.
Thanks to modern technologies such as a low grade OfficeJet machine, I can scan in documents from the ancient past and with auto OCR technologies, in a few minutes I can get PDF with searchable and editable text. I am going to copy and paste the document in its entirety since the information is a rather interesting giving this was only two decades ago. I won’t make any editoral statements, to let you read it in its originality. I Report – You Decide.
(Note: Since I had scanned this document into a readable OCR format, some of the characters didn’t come out as accurate. Steps were taken to ensure that this document is accurate as it was on the original hard copy.)

ASPERGER SYNDROME
Stephen Bauer, M.D . M.P.H.
The Developmental Unit
The Genesee Hospital
Rochester, New York

Introduction:
Asperger Syndrome (also called Asperger disorder) is a relatively new category of developmental disorder, having only been in use for about the past fifteen years. Although a group of children with this clinical picture were originally described in the 1940’s by a Viennese pediatrician, Hans Asperger, it has only been over the past several years that the term has become more widely applied; it entered the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders for the first time in the fourth edition published in 1994. Because Asperger syndrome (AS) is a new category with few comprehensive review articles in the medical literature to date, and because it is probably considerably more common than previously realized. I will attempt in this discussion to describe it in some detail and to offer suggestions regarding practical aspects of its management. Students with AS are not uncommonly seen in mainstream educational settings, although often undiagnosed or misdiagnonsed,  so this is a topic of some importance for educational personnel as well for parents
Asperger Syndrome is the term applied·to the mildest and highest functioning end of whats known as the as the spectrum of pervasive developmental disorders (or the autism spectrum.) Like all conditions along that spectrum it is now felt to represent a neurologically-based disorder of development, most often of unknown cause  in which there are deviations or abnormalities in three broad aspects of development social skills, the use of language for communicative purposes and certain behavioral and stylistic characteristics involving repetitive or pervasive features and limited range of interests. It is the presence of these three categories  of dysfunctiong which can range from relatively mild to severe.· which clinically define all of the pervasive developmental from AS through to classic autism.
Asperger syndrome represents that portion of the PDD continuum which is characterized by higher cognitive abilities (at least normal IQ by definition. and sometimes ranging up into the very superior range) and by more normal language function compared to other disorders along the spectrum. In fact. the presence of normal basic language skills is now felt to be one of the criteria for the diagnosis of AS although there are nearly always more subtle abnormalities of speech and language present. Many researchers feel it is these two areas at relative strength that distinguish AS from other forms of autism and PDD and account for the better prognosis in AS. Developmentalists have not reached consensus as to whether there is any difference between AS and what is termed high functioning autism (HFA). Some researchers have suggested that the basic  neuropsychological deficit is different for the two conditions. but others have been unconvinced that any meaningful distinction can be made between them. One researcher. Uta Frith. has characterized children with AS as having “a dash of autism.” This leaves room for some confusion regarding diagnostic terms. and it is likely that quite similar children across the country have been diagnosed with AS. HFA. or POD. depending upon by whom or where they are evaluated. In fact, since the symptoms are milder and less classic in AS. many children who would meet criteria for that diagnosis receive no diagnosis at all and are viewed as “unusual” or “just different”. Actually. many in the field believe that there is no clear boundary separating AS from children who are ” normal but different”  The inclusion of AS as a separate category in the new DSM-4. with fairly clear criteria for diagnosis. should promote greater consistency of labeling in the future.
Epidemiology
The best studies that have been carried out to date suggest that AS is far more common than “classic” autism. Whereas autism has traditionally been felt to occur in about 4 out of every 10,000 children, estimates of Asperger syndrome have ranged as high as 20-25 per 10,000. That means that for each case of more typical autism, schools can expect to encounter several children with a picture of AS (that is even more. true for the mainstream setting. where most children with AS will be found). In fact. a careful, population-based epidemiological study carried out by Gillberg’s group in Sweden, concluded that nearly 0.7% of the children studied had a clinical picture either diagnostic of or suggestive of AS to some degree. Particularly if one includes those children who have many of the features of AS and seem to be milder presentations along the spectrum as it shades into “normal”, it seems not to be a rare condition at all.
All studies have agreed that Asperger syndrome is far more common in boys than in girls. The reasons for this are unknown. AS is fairly commonly associated with other types of diagnoses  again for unknown reasons. including: tic disorders such as Tourette disorder. attentional problems, and mood problems such as depression and anxiety. In some cases there is a clear genetic component, with one parent (most often the father) showing either the full picture of AS or at least some of the traits associated with AS. Sometimes there will be a positive family history of autism in relatives. further strengthening the impression that AS  and autism are related conditions . Other studies have demonstrated a fairly high rate of depression. both bipolar and unipolar, in relatives of children with AS suggesting a genetic link in at least some cases. It seems likely that for AS, as for autism, the clinical picture we see is probably influenced by many factors, including genetic ones. so that there is no single identifiable cause in most cases.
Definition
The criteria for a diagnosis of AS in the new DSM -4 include the presence of:

  • Qualitative impairment in social interaction involving some or all or the following: impaired use of non-verbal behaviors to regulate social interaction, failure to develop age-appropriate peer relationships. lack of spontaneous interest in sharing experiences with others. and lack of social or emotional reciprocity.
  • Restricted, repetitive, and stereotyped patterns of behavior, interests, and activities involving: preoccupation with one or more stereotyped and restricted pattern of interest,  inflexible adherence to specific non-functional routines or rituals . stereotype or repetitive motor mannerisms. or preoccupation with parts objects.

These behaviors must be sufficient to interfere significantly with social or other areas of functioning. Furthermore. there must be no significant associated delay in either general cognitive function, self-help/adaptive skills, interest in the environment. or overall language development.
Christopher Gillberg, a Swedish physician who has studied AS extensively. has proposed six criteria for the diagnosis. elaborating upon the a criteria set forth in DSM-4. His six criteria capture, the unique style of these children, and include:

  • Social impairment=extreme egocentricity, which may include:

–inability to interact with peers
-tack of desire to interact
-poor appreciation of social cues
–socially inappropriate responses

  • Limited interests. preoccupations

–more rote than memorized
-relatively exclusive of other interests
–repetitive adherence

  • Repetitive routines, rituals

–imposed on self, or
–imposed on others

  • Speech and language peculiarities. such as:

–delayed early development possible but not consistently seen
–superficially perfect expressive language * [pen mark, must been figuring out my speech abilities]
–odd prosody, peculiar voice characteristics
–impaired comprehension including misinterpretation of literal and implied meanings

  • Non-verbal communication problems. such as:.

–limited use of gesture
–clumsy body language
–limited facial expression. or inappropriate
–peculiar “stiff” gaze
–difficulty adjusting physical proximity

  • Motor clumsiness

–may not be necessary part at the picture in all cases
Clinical Features
The most obvious hallmark of Asperger syndrome, and the characteristic that makes these children so unique and fascinating, is their peculiar idiosyncratic areas of “special interest”. In contrast to more typical autism. where the interests are more likely to be objects or parts of objects. in AS the interests appear most often to be specific intellectual areas. Often, when they enter school, or even before, these children will show an obsessive interest in an area such as math. aspects at science. reading (some have a history of hyperlexia–rote reading at a precocious age), or some aspect at history or geography, wanting to learn everything possible about that subject and tending to dwell on it in conversations and free play.
I have seen a number at children with AS who focus on maps, weather, astronomy, various types of machinery, or aspects of cars, trains, planes, or rockets. Interestingly. as far back as Asperger’s original clinical description in 1944. the area of transport has seemed to be a particularly common fascination (he described children who memorized the tram lines in Vienna down to the last stop). Many children with AS. as young as three years old, seem to be unusually aware of things such as the route taken on car trips. Sometimes the areas at fascination represent exaggerations of interests common to children in our culture, such as Nina Turtles, Power Rangers. dinosaurs. etc. In many children the areas of special interest wilt change over time, with one preoccupation replaced by another. In some children, however, the interests may persist into adulthood, and there are many cases where the childhood fascinations have formed the basis for an adult career, including a good number at college professors.
The other major characteristic of AS is the socialization deficit. and this,  too,  tends to be somewhat different than that seen in typical autism. Although children with AS are frequently noted by teachers and parents to be somewhat “in their own world” and preoccupied with their own agenda, they are seldom as aloof as children with autism. In fact. most children with AS. at least once they get to school age. express a desire to fit in socially and have friends.  They are often deeply frustrated and disappointed by their social difficulties. Their problem is not a lack of interaction so much as lack of effectiveness in interactions. They seem to have difficulty knowing, how to”make connections” socially. Gillberg has described this as a “disorder of empathy” the inability to effectively “read” others’ needs and perspectives and respond appropriately. As a result. children with AS tend to misread social situations arid their interactions and responses are frequently viewed by others as “odd”.
Although “normal” language skills are a feature distinguishing AS from other forms of autism and PDD. there are usually some observable differences in how they use language. It is the more rate skills that are strong. sometimes very strong. Their prosody-those aspects of spoken language such as volume of speech, intonation, inflection, rate,  etc, is frequently different.  Sometimes the language sounds overly formal or pedantic,  idioms and slang are often not used or are misused, and things are often taken too literally, slang are often not used or are misused, and things are often taken too literally. Language comprehension tends toward the concrete, with increasing problems often arising as language becomes more abstract in the upper grades. Pragmatic or conversational, language skills often are weak because of problems with turn-taking,  a tendency to revert to areas of special interest, or difficulty sustaining the “give and take” of conversations. Most children with AS have difficulties dealing with humor, tending not to “get” jokes or laughing at the wrong time; this is in spite of the fact that quite a few show an interest in humor and jokes,  particularly things such as puns or word games. perhaps hoping to be able to use humor as a way to fit in better socially.
Some children with AS tend to be hyperverbal. not understanding that this interferes with their interactions with others and puts others off. When one examines the early language history of children with AS there is no single pattern–some of them have normal or even early achievement of milestones. while others have quite clear early delays on speech with rapid catch-up to more normal language by the time of school  entry. Frequently, particularly during the first several years. language features similar to those in autism are seen, such as perseverative or repetitive aspects to language use.
Asperger Syndrome Through the Lifespan
In his original 1944 paper describing the children who later came to be, described under his name. Hans Asperger recognized that although the symptoms and problems change over time, the overall problem is seldom outgrown. He wrote that “in the course of development, certain features predominate or recede; so that the problems presented change considerably. Nevertheless,  the essential aspects of the problem remain unchanged. In early childhood there are the difficulties in learning simple practical skills and in social adaptation. These difficulties arise out of the same disturbance which at school age cause learning and conduct problems, in adolescence job and performance problems, and in adulthood social and marital conflicts.”   On the  other hand. there is no question that children with AS have generally milder problems at every age compared to those with other forms of autism. and their ultimate prognosis is certainly better. In fact, one of the more important reasons to distinguish AS from other forms of autism is it’s considerably milder prognosis.
The preschool child. As has been suggested above,  there is no single, uniform , presenting picture of Asperger syndrome in the first 3-4 years. The early picture may be indistinguishable from that of more typical autism. suggesting that when evaluating any young child with autism and apparently normal intelligence, the possibility should be entertained that he/she may eventually have a picture more compatible with an Asperger diagnosis. something that I have seen on a number of occasions. Other children may have early language delays with rapid “catch-up” as they approach school age. Finally. some of these children, particularly the brightest ones,  may have no evidence of early developmental delay except, perhaps, some motor clumsiness. In almost all cases. however, if one looks closely at the child between the age of about three and five years, clues to the diagnosis can be found. and in most cases a comprehensive evaluation at that age can at least point to a diagnosis along the PDD/autism spectrum. Although these children may seem to relate normally within the family setting, when they enter a preschool setting problems are often seen. These may include: a tendency to avoid spontaneous social interactions or to snow very weak, skills in interactions. problems sustaining simple conversations or a tendency to be perseverative or repetitive when conversing, odd verbal responses. preference for a set routine and difficulty with transitions. difficulty regulating social/emotional responses with anger, aggression, or excessive anxiety, hyperactivity. appearing to be “In one’s own little world”, and the tendency to overfocus on particular objects or subjects.
Certainly, this list is much like the early symptom list in autism or PDD. Compared to those children. however. the child with AS is more likely to show some social interest in adults and other children. will have less abnormal language and conversational speech. and may not be as obviously “different” from other children. Areas of particularly strong skills may be present. such as letter or number recognition, rate memorization of various facts, etc.
Elementary school. The child with AS will frequently enter kindergarten without having been adequately diagnosed. !n some cases. there wiil have been behavioral concerns (hyperactivity, inattention, aggression,  outbursts) in the preschool years: there may be concern over “immature” social skills and peer interactions: the child may already be viewed as being somewhat unusual. If these problems are more severe, special education may be suggested. but probably most children with AS enter a more mainstream setting. Often. academic progress in the early grades, is an area of relative strength; for example, rote reading is usually quite good, and calculation skills may be similarly strong, although pencil skills are often considerably weaker. The teacher will probably be struck by the child’s “obsessive” areas of interest, which often intrude in the classroom setting. Most AS children will show some social interest in other children, although it may be reduced, but they are likely to show weak friend-making and friend-keeping skills. They may show particular interest in one or a few children around them, but usually the depth of their interactions will be relatively superficial. On the other hand. I have known quite a number of children with AS who present as pleasant and “nice”. particularly when interacting with adults. The social deficit. when less severe, may be under appreciated by many observers.
The course through elementary school can vary considerably from child to child, and overall problems can range from mild and easily managed to severe and intractable, depending upon factors such as the child’s intelligence level. appropriateness of management at school and parenting at heme. temperamental style of the child, and the presence or absence ot complicating factors such as hyperactivity/attentional problems,  anxiety, learning problems, etc.
The upper grades. As the child with AS moves into middle school and high school, the most difficult areas continue to be those related to socialization and behavioral adjustment. Paradoxically. because children with AS are frequently managed in mainstream educational settings. and because their specific developmental problems may be more easily overlooked (especially if they are bright and do not act too “strange”), they are often misunderstood at this age by both teachers and other students. At the secondary level. teachers often have less opportunity to get to know a child well, and problems with behavior or work/study habits may be misattributed  to emotional or motivational problems. In some settings particularly less familiar or structured ones such as the cafeteria, physical education class, or playground, the child may get into escalating conflicts or power struggles with teachers or students who may not be familiar with their developmental style at interacting. This can sometimes lead to more serious behavioral flare-ups. Pressure may build up in such a child with little clue until he then reacts in a dramatically inappropriate manner.
In middle school. where the pressures for conformity are greatest and tolerance for differences the least, these children may be left out. misunderstood, or teased and persecuted. Wanting to make friends and fit in., but unable to, they may withdraw even more, or their behavior may become increasingly problematic in the form of outbursts or non-cooperation. Some degree of depression is not uncommon as a complicating feature. If there are no significant learning disabilities, academic performance can continue strong, particularly in those areas at particular interest: often, however, there will be ongoing subtle tendencies to misinterpret information, particularly abstract or figurative/idiomatic language. In many cases they will have learning difficulties. and attentional and organizational difficulties may be present.
Fortunately, by high school peer tolerance for individual variations and eccentricity often increases again to some extent. It a child does well academically. that can bring a measure at respect from other students. Some AS students may pass socially as “nerds”, a group which they actually resemble in many ways and which may overlap with AS. The AS adolescent may form friendships with other students ‘who share his interests through avenues such as computer or math clubs, science fairs, Star Trek clubs, etc. With luck and proper management. many of these students will have developed considerable coping skills. “social graces”, and general ability to “fit in” more comfortably by this age. thus easing their way.
Asperger children grown up.  It is important to note that we have limited solid information regarding the eventual outcome for most children with AS. It has only been recently that AS itself has been distinguished from more typical autism, in looking at outcomes. Nonetheless, the available data does suggest that, compared to other forms of autism, children with AS are much more likely to grow up to be  independently functioning adults in terms of employment, marriage and family, etc.
One of the most interesting and useful sources of data on outcome comes indirectly from observing those parents (mostly fathers) of AS children, who themselves appear to have AS. From these observations it is clear that AS does not preclude the potential for a more “normal” adult life. Commonly. these adults will gravitate to a job or profession that relates to their own areas ot special interest,  sometimes becoming very proficient. A number of the brightest students with AS are able to successfully complete college and even graduate school Nonetheless. in most cases they will continue to demonstrate, at least to some extent, subtle differences in social interactions. They can be challenged by the social and emotional demands of marriage. although we know that many do marry. Their rigidity of style and.  idiosyncratic perspective on the world can make interactions difficult. both in and out of the family. There is also the risk of mood problems such as depression and anxiety, and it is likely that,  many find their way to psychiatrists and other mental health providers where. Gillberg suggests. the true, developmental nature of their problems may go unrecognized or misdiagnosed.
In fact, Gillberg has estimated that perhaps 30-50% of all adults with AS are never evaluated or correctly diagnosed. These “normal Aspergers” are viewed by others as “just different” or eccentric,  or perhaps they receive other psychiatric diagnoses.  I  have met a number of individuals whom I believe fall into that category, and I am struck by how many at them have been able to utilize their other skills, often with support from loved ones, to achieve what I consider to be a high level at function, personally and professionally. It has been suggested that some of these highest
functioning and brightest individuals with AS represent a unique resource for society, having the single mindedness and consuming interest to advance our knowledge in various areas of science,  math, etc.
Thoughts on Management in the School
The most important starting point in helping a student with Asperger syndrome function effectively in school is for the staff (all who will come into contact with the child) to realize that the child has an inherent developmental disorder which causes  him or her to behave and respond in a different way from other students. Too often, behaviors in these children are interpreted as “emotional” or “manipulative”, or some other term that misses the point that they respond differently to the world and its stimuli, It follows from that realization’ that school staff must carefully individualize their approach for each of these children: it will not work out to treat them just the same as other students. Asperger himself realized the central importance of teacher attitude from his own work with these children. In 1944 he wrote. “These children often show a surprising sensitivity ‘to the personality of the teacher …They can be taught, but only by, those who give them true understanding and affection. people who show kindness towards them and, yes, humour…The teacher’s underlying emotional attitude influences, involuntarily and unconsciously, the mood and behaviour of the child.”
Although it is likely that many children with AS can be managed primarily in the regular classroom setting, they often need some educational support services. If learning problems are present. resource room or tutoring can be helpful,  to provide individualized explanation and review. Direct speech services may not be needed,  but the speech and language clinician at school can be useful as a consultant to the other staff regarding ways to address problems in areas such as pragmatic,  language. If motor clumsiness is significant, as it sometimes is, the school Occupational Therapist can provide helpful input. The school counselor or social worker can provide direct social skills training, as well as general emotional support. Finally. a few children with very high management needs may benefit from assistance from a classroom aide assigned to them. On the other hand, some of the higher functioning children and those with milder AS, are able to adapt and function with little in the way a normal support services at school.
There are a number at general principles at managing most children with PDD
of any degree in school, and they apply to AS as well:

  • The classroom routines should be kept as consistent, structured, and predictable as possible. Children with AS often don’t like surprises. They should be prepared in advance, when possible, for changes and transitions. including things such as schedule breaks, vacation days, etc.
  • Rules should be applied carefully. Many of these children can be fairly rigid about following “rules” quite literally. While clearly expressed rules and guidelines, preferably written down for the student, are helpful, they should be applied with some flexibility. The rules do not automatically have to be exactly the same for the child with AS as for the rest ot the students–their needs and abilities are different.
  • Staff should take full advantage at a child’s areas of special interest when teaching. The child will learn best when an area of high personal interest is on the agenda.  One can creatively connect the child’s interests to the teaching process. One can also use access to the special interests as a reward for the child.
  • Most students with AS respond well to the use of visuals–schedules, charts, lists, pictures, etc.
  • In general, try to keep teaching fairly concrete. Avoid language that may be misunderstood by the child with AS. such as sarcasm, confusing figurative speech, idioms. etc ., Work to break down and simplify more abstract language and concepts.
  • Explicit, didactic training in strategies can be very helpful, to assist the child gain proficiency in “executive function” areas such as organization and study skills.
  • Insure that school staff outside of the classroom, such as physical education teachers, bus drivers, cafeteria monitors,  librarians, etc ., are familiar with the child’s style and needs and have been given adequate training in management approaches. Often, it is those less structured settings where the routine is broken and . expectations less clear that are most difficult for the child with AS.
  • Try to avoid escalating power struggles. These children often do not understand blind shows of authority and will become more rigid and stubborn if  forcefully confronted. Their behavior can then get rapidly out of control. and at that point it is often better for the staff person to back off and let things cool down.

A major area of concern as the child moves through school is to promote more appropriate social interactions and to help the child fit in better socially. Formal, didactic social skills training can take place both in the classroom and in more individualized settings. Approaches that have been most successful utilize direct modeling and role playing at a concrete level (such as in the Skillstreaming series), By rehearsing and practicing how to handle various social situations, the child can hopefully learn to generalize the skills to naturalistic settings. It is often useful to use a dyad approach where the child is paired with another to carry out such structured encounters. The use of a “buddy system” can be very useful. since these children relate best in a 1-1 setting. Careful selection of a non-handicapped peer buddy for the child can be a tool to help build social skills, encourage friendships, and reduce stigmatization. Care should be taken, particularly in the upper grades. to protect the child from teasing both in and out of the classroom, since it is one of the greatest sources of anxiety for older children with AS. Efforts should be made to help other students arrive at a better understanding of the child with AS, in a way that will promote tolerance and acceptance. Teachers can take advantage ot the strong academic skills that many AS children have,  in order to help them gain acceptance with peers. It is very helpful if the AS child can be given opportunities to help other children at times.
Teachers should be alert to the potential for mood problems such as anxiety or depression, particularly in the older child with AS. Occasionally, medication with an antidepressant may be indicated if mood problems are significantly ‘interfering with the child’s function.’ Although most children with AS are managed without medication (medication does not “cure” any of the core symptoms), there are specific situations where medication can. on occasion. be useful. For example. problems with inattention for academics that are seen in some children can sometimes be helped by stimulant medications such as Ritalin. Occasionally, medication may be needed to address more severe behavior problems that have not responded to non-medical interventions: clonidine has proven helpful in such situations. and there are other options if  necessary.
In attempting to put a comprehensive teaching and management plan into place at school, it is often helpful for staff and parents to work closely together, since parents often are most familiar with what has worked in the past for a given child. It is also wise to put as many details of the plan as possible into an Individual Educational Plan so, that progress can be monitored and carried over from year to year. Finally, in devising such plans, it can sometimes be helpful to enlist the aid of outside consultants familiar with the management of children with Asperger syndrome and other forms of PDD. such as Boces consultants, psychologists or physicians. In complex cases a team orientation is always advisable.

“Love shyness” and the Elephant in the Room

2023 Note: In 2012, the world was more innocent than a decade later. “Love-shyness” is actually a major part of the “Manosphere” and the incel community,  Brian Gilmartin’s work is cited in the alpha vs. beta male description. There had been opinions that his work was fringe, and he was forced to go to Montana, and try to use the remaining credibility. Over a decade after writing this, I look at this that love-shyness from the originalist perspective (at that time 35 years ago) was people who were afraid of love, was on burnout much like the original intentions of the Incel USENET group. But when the incel and manosphere community started to take off by 2017, it was on anger, and attack on the other-side. MGTOWS and PUAs are extremely dangerous to the society and “love-shyness” as merged in part of the incel culture – the indiscriminate hate to women. Boy have some of my words gone moldy since…I hope men who have been extremely hurt and only anger is the PUA and MGTOW can take back the “Incel” name and make what it used to be


The most searched phrases in my search metrics, continues to be the whole theme can someone with autism fall in love, why autistic people can’t love, etc, etc.
I appreciate you people searching for that subject, because I still don’t have any ideas ether. It doesn’t help when the liberal elitists that knows it all when it comes to ASD and to the HFA population, because they don’t know everything because they create politics and ideals of what the population should be so the population gets screwed horribly.
Today, the focus will be on a subject known as  “Love shyness.” It’s coined by Brian G. Gilmartin who wrote a book in 1987 and had “estimated that love-shyness afflicts approximately 1.5% of American males and will prevent about 1.7 million U.S. males from ever marrying or experiencing intimate sexual contact with women“*
*From a Wikipedia article entitled “Love-shyness” referenced in a cautious manner.
From the same source, he stated with his data collection various factors, such as temperament, history of being bullied, that the “love-shy’s life” had grown up in dysfunctional families, etc.  Another striking fact was the

“men reported that their parents and societal attitudes pressured them into being “real boys” because of the men’s personalities as children. “

So here goes that “man-child” stereotype the rich bitches won’t want to touch with a 10 foot pole.
Also the social economic factor is shocking that

“As a result, all of the love-shy men were in the lower middle class or lower.”

My spin on that would be a “love-shyness” is probably a lot worse if one came up as a lower middle class and growing up in the Suburbia where a lot of girls are overprotected by their rich conservative leaning daddys. Hey, that’s worth shot I suppose.
After this book was originally published in the late 80s, he had confirmed that some of the cases may had been considered to be autistic or dare I say Asperger Syndrome. He had also responded to an email years after the publication that about 40% of the severely love-shy men would have AS or ADHD. And of course he probably at the time was ignorant about the high functioning cases of ASD or people who had severe cases of autism to be upgraded to a functioning equivalent of their peers.
Another piece would be is:

” He says in his book ‘Shyness is never ‘good’. Shyness obviates free choice and self-determination, and it stands squarely in the way of responsible self-control and self-management.’ Again, he states ‘Simply put, shyness is never healthy.'”

Well then try to educate the union thugs at the local liberal SPED programs in the public school system.
The takeaway is that “love-shyness”, however you want to slice and dice it, can be in some regards synthetic thanks to the excessive laws the Feds and state and local governments put into the special education classrooms. Oh, don’t get me started with the overzealous sexual harassment classes (where I don’t even think the mainstream classes even teach to begin with)  and how the Hacks basically frame us as freaks and creeps and who else knows what kills our self esteem.
Not dismissing love-shyness, but some of this is made up thanks to the ever so complicated issue of high functioning autism and the blur between the evil side of Asperger’s and the HFAs who struggle in life and again the upbringing in the classroom and the unions and liberals POV of what the ASD community needs to be.
The unions and the public schools can really do us a favor if they can get laid off and deregulate the special ed system so people won’t have to go through what I went through becoming a synthetic hopeless romantic.
However, this is one’s own opinion. I can’t speak for the rest of the population. This may just be pure emotion and not thinking rationally. I think the politics of autism or whatever social disorder has gotten way out of hand, and instead of preaching on “love-shyness”, maybe there should be less liberals teaching social skills for a change.

Why in the f*** do we need to use "nerotypical"?

Or hell call it “NT”?
I know its a registered trademark of Nortel (Previously known as Northern Telecom), but Nortel has gone bankrupt and many of their businesses have gone on wholesale, so I don’t know what actual company might own the trademark.  In fact its alleged that might had been the reason why Microsoft didn’t use the NT branding in Windows 2000 (and eliminating totally by Windows XP or NT 5.1) because of a potential lawsuit of Nortel.
I have so much opposition of such techno terminology of the whole hell known as the Autism Spectrum Disorders. For one thing, why in the hell do we need a “label” (for a lack of a better word) to describe the “normal” population. Are we afraid to degrade their potential or are we afraid to degrade the hack psych-o-logists and other “professionals” that had pissed a lot of money into an Ivy League education in the study of psych-o-logy?
This is beyond words like patently absurd. I just can’t get why such groups (mostly in the Asperger world – which is NOT autism) has to make such confusion.
Enough with the acronyms and abbreviations, enough with the technicality of the “labels” enough with having pride with a disorder that is technically unrelated with autism and please for the AS community, dont flaunt your pride that is similar to homosexual population. It’s just plain insulting to the legitimate group who is feeling ASHAMED instead of coming out of the closet as a super high functioning retard.

Autism Awareness Month – the cloud of confusion of "labels"

I gotta run for dinner and a walk in my neighborhood after a busy day of getting IT stuff back online after some scheduled outages done today. However, I wanted to embed a video from a YouTube user on the never ending drama with the classifications of the ASD, Asperger Syndrome and High Functioning Autism. Now I don’t agree with some of his thoughts of what is considered with the respective disorders, he makes some strong points during the majority of the video.  Especially when one didn’t have a speech delay and they “automatically have Asperger’s”. It’s rather interesting YouTube piece that I strongly recommend.

Catcha later

Autism Awareness Month: A Post on WrongPlanet

From this blog’s inception, this is the first time I will be referencing one of the most weirdest of weird wide websites. I am talking about WrongPlanet.net.
WrongPlanet.net is a site for people (primarily with) Asperger Syndrome. The site is based and located here in the States however many (nearly 8 to 2 margin) of people located outside this country. They have a strong anti-American bias, a strong liberal bias (beyond progressive or the Moonbat status) and hatred to conservatives, or not even that anything traditional. When it comes to religion, its all virtually all hate to Christianity. And when it comes to tech, its all about Linux (then Mac OS then Windows), because according to those smartasses you can do everything on an operating system that lacks charisma.
Many of the users have “self diagnosed” themselves, another trait about the alleged cases of AS. If you think I was smart, well then I would be dumb when you would read posts after posts of extreme intelligence.  I should also add many users are from “university”. So many of these people were probably socially weird and then they got a label to then define themselves.
Be careful if you ever go on there, there are some fiftysomething creeps on there.
WrongPlanet a few years ago, like this blog, was very critical of Autism Speaks. However as Autism Speaks realized they kinda went too harsh against the higher functioning autism, they started to partner with WrongPlanet. I bet it was the money talks, bleep walks. In anyway, my respect to WrongPlanet stopped after realizing that high functioning autism according to Autism Speaks was part of Asperger Syndrome.
In anyway we have more to blame the shame of Autism. Thanks WrongPlanet!

NEWS ALERT: Autism rates are now 1 in 88 children!

Where’s my breaking news bell?
No this should not be any news alert whatsoever. In fact its hideous. Its insane. It should be challenged. Or better yet, ASD should be renamed as the Autism Spectrum Disease as it has been refereed as an “epidemic.”
On Thursday, the Centers for Disease Control had formally announced that the cases for ASD is now in 1 and 88 children. Their answer is that there are better ways to diagnose children than back 20 years ago and there are better ways now to effectively tackle the problems.
Well we can say the same thing with the Millennial Generation. I bet 1 and 88 adults born after 1977 have a synthetic autism where they are non verbal, and their social skills are problematic where they drink and have excessive sex, degrade their elders, treat people like crap and communicate on assistive technologies (ATECH) like their iPhone, or Android or BlackBerry devices with an app called text messaging. They also use Facebook to socially network, but if you have true case of ASD, its often frowned upon indirectly. If they say something inappropriately, thats ok, but if you have a true case of ASD and you were raised to be accepted as a creep, than you would get blocked and people defriending you.
I am not bullshitting the real cases of ASD (where i still believe in the 1 in 150, not this BS coming from the Obama administration) What I am BSing, is the numbers. Just like in other industries where problems are created to create job security, i think in special education this is the same problem.
People will use man-made to describe something, but for this subject it would offend females, so I have to say that some of the autism numbers or cases may have been woman-made thanks to women (meaning someone with female reproductive parts) in leadership in the local special ed departments, the local agencies for post-21 (or older) adults, or executives in human services. And those same ones are of age that they are post-menopausal, and they have the empty-nest syndrome. So of course, that might have to do with the numbers being what it is…that can’t be a conspiracy theory, right?
Am I advocating a “cure” for autism? No. Do I believe there is a “cure”? No I do not at the moment? Do I believe the “inclusion” of special ed kids in the mainstream classrooms caused the normal students to become more “special” than their counterpart? Partially yes. Do I believe the same practice caused society to be closed minded to the ASD population? As perverted as it is – yes.
The other problem lies in between PhDs vs the Psychiatrists with an M.D. background and their clashes to combat the disorder (the PhD’s perspective) vs. the disease (the M.D.’s perspective.) The DSM 5 is supposed to come out this year, and it may get pushed back a few years later thanks to distraction disorders like “shyness” or a “broken heart” or whatever bullshit comes from the over-educated, rest of the world mindset and the anti-Christan types that are making up “labels” to rip off the insurance companies (and if Obamacare is legal, then we will be ripped off.)
Because there are so many distractions to the DSM, the politics of ASD are still up in the air, meanwhile people like yours truly has been defined by the disorder, and he cannot define himself.
They aren’t kidding when liberalism is a mental disorder. I would love to see that in the DSM, but thats way too politically incorrect to put that in there.

Autism Speaks craziness, part two

Updated 9:29 pm/ET 11/11/11 for clarity
Today on my WordPress front page, there was a featured post from Autism Speaks blog  from a “nerotypical” sibling of someone with autism. Key words, sibling of someone with autism. Right out of the bat, someone else is speaking for someone with autism. Hey, I though the mission of Autism Speaks, was to hand the microphone to the people with autism. Oh wait, that would be basic, common sense logic, right.
The post’s introduction states that the writer is a graduate from Yale University, second offense, a with someone from an Ivy League background. The post features how his older brother can drive (the one with autism) but in between he borders on slander of his feelings about him. (And slander is of course a strong word, but I feel from this perception, he is making such anger towards someone who can’t fend for himself.)   The first paragraph describes his younger brother in a the most blunt way as possible.
Here I quote it:

My brother doesn’t like me very much, and I don’t blame him.

But it gets worse:

“The driver’s license was a big one. In east bay suburbia, it’s a given that on your 16th birthday you go to the DMV and take the test. It’s all you talk about when you’re a sophomore in high school, and when Matthew was that age, he probably heard about it every day when he walked alone through the halls.”

How insulting!

“I, the neurotypical one, got my driver’s license on my 16th birthday, when Matthew was 18. According to Matthew, though, I wasn’t allowed to drive. I was younger than he was, so it made no sense for me to have rights that he didn’t.”

and even more salt to the wounds…

“I am very lucky. Matthew knows that I have no trouble making friends, and he knows that I have a girlfriend. He knows that I’m more independent than he is, and that I go to college.
Sometimes I accidentally beat him when we play video games together.”

I cannot imagine jelliousy and whatever else.  I don’t have any siblings, but on the Official Autism Speaks WordPress blog, and the way hes writing and talking about his older brother with autism…its like he thinks hes mute and dumb and nieave or whatever you want to describe it.
And I suffer with this disease because my voice is squelched thanks to the ultra blowtoarch group known as Autism Speaks and how they want to silence all autistic and degrade them.  I have zero respect to the pretty-faced/arrogant man known as Bob Wright, heartless business man, who has done nothing other than make all people with autism hopeless and powerless. (Never mind causing the collapse at NBC Universal which is now being salvaged by Comcast by all the cost cutting initiates during his tenure.)
And how in the hell can you say in the post “Voices of Autism” when he couldn’t speak for himself. How pathetic! I can speak for myself and I will never, ever in the lifetime ever give a damn penny or join in any fundraiser that sponsors Autism Speaks. They are an obscenely managed organization and they deserve to never get support for anyone who has autism and can literally speak for themselves.
if this post had any example, than this would be it.

Reflections of September 11th, 2001

September 11th, 2001 was one of the worst day the country had experienced. I would have to echo the same. I am going to keep this post to the point, but also be thoughtful.

1997
I went by New York City in 1997 when I went to New Jersey when my mother and her then boyfriend drove through The Bronx and Manhattan. We were going to Six Flags before the Western Mass one would open 3 or so years after. I remember when we tried to get back home (before that, we stopped at my aunts place in Connecticut) we took the wrong way and got off the GWB in Manhattan and I vaguely remember 5th Avenue, and for some reason I remember seeing the Statue of Liberty (however we were in Midtown, so I don’t know if that is true or not.)
2000
I did set foot a few years later on Labor Day weekend of 2000. I was in the whole Wall Street kick back then (and somewhat today even now I believe most of it is rigged.) We also went to Ellis Island and walked around the Statue of Liberty, although we didn’t go in there. I remember seeing the Twin Towers from the distance.
2001
On April Vacation of 2001, my mother and I went to Manhattan ourselves (we managed to get into The City courtesy of my aunt who lived at the time in the Tristate side of Connecticut during the several times we went there where we took the Metro North Rail into Grand Central.
My mother and I got tickets to see the Opening Bell of the start of the trading session at the New York Stock Exchange. However we missed it by a group or two. Regardless, I remembered seeing how dark the Exchange looked like without the magic of spotlights underneath the robotic camera lenses for the news organizations. The floor wasn’t that littered, since it was just past 9:30.  The next stop was we went into the World Trade Center into the lobby and trying to get to the Observation Deck. However with the deal-savy mother I have, there was a deal to go to all the three big skyscrapers (WTC, the Empire State Building and I forgot the 3rd.) Since we wanted to be more prepared we decided to do it another time.
That’s a true definition that there would not be another time.
When we went north into Midtown, after visiting the Nasdaq Marketsite, we noticed unusual security that was invasive at that time. (It was kinda like the post 9/11 security at that time, but only a few months before.) My mother and I were trying to figure it out when we went to lunch after.
Summer 2001
However, the story gets a bit heartbreaking for me. On the 4th of July week, my mother and I took a vacation to California to San Diego specifically Legoland. It was the first time I gone that far west in my lifetime. I remember how relaxed that week was. On our way back home, we had the plane almost to ourselves since people didn’t show up for their flights out of San Diego. We did land in Ohio before coming back to Manchester, which all I can remember we got home within the hour after the landing. For some reason I was very surprised that we were in and out. I also remember not having any jet lag (since jet lag happens when your body clock advances time.) I apparently adapted back to the Eastern Time very quickly.
You can the thought that I could had been a victim of that day since it was a couple months prior to the attack and one of those impacts was going cross country. That thought came to me a while after.
Labor Day Weekend 2001  Less than 2 weeks prior to September 11th
The next big trip was back to the NY/Tristate area that Labor Day weekend. My aunt was at the time dating a guy that worked for a large trading floor in Fairfield County, Connecticut. I was lucky that I got there in time to meet him and see the large floor with countless Bloomberg Terminals (boy was that fun!) Sun workstations, and everything else. However, that floor is a secured environment and he had to use his card to have the elevator go there and there was a security turnstall there as well. (Remember this was late August of 2001, just more than a week away from 9/11.)
We went to Manhattan the next day. My aunt didn’t want to go downtown for the reason that it being a warm, hot day that (allegedly) they do rolling blackouts on the subways which would get people stuck in the trains. I later believed it was likely an excuse to not go there. I never was able to see the complex that day.
I got the local tabloids on September 1st of that year and the stories of that day. It seemed to be a typical summer stories since after all it was Labor Day weekend.
September 11th, 2001
I remember the morning of 9/11 very vividly. I remember the morning’s stories, the economy was in the fritz for recession, the Chandra Levy love affair story (which I myself got hooked into) and anything else. I left to go to school at about 8:20. The school I was in was kind of a tough school, where lets be honest, where I couldn’t be the boss, or learn or do things that interests me, etc. I figured given their attitude to their students, that they kept zip quiet. No one mentioned anything to us till one of my staff came into the classroom at probably 10:30 and broke the news to us.
Honestly, I froze. When I heard of the World Trade Center, I thought of the Boston WTC since everything was slow for me to process. When I heard about planes flying around, I thought they were flying around the Eastern Rockingham County area. Because my staff was talking slow and I was trying to get answers in a spiffy manner, and after I thought or the mention of the Twin Towers, my soul immediately went into shock. This news came to me about the time after my mother called the school to ask if they had said anything to tell him since was there just in the last week. The school never dismissed us ether, probably since they thought it was a no-news for every other kid in the school and it wouldnt be important to them or whatever.
Trying to go onto any online source came up with an Error 404 since everyone was trying to get stories. The Internet experienced one of the most busiest days since by that time the Web became a serious medium of news, especially with the dynamic updates the sites could support. When I got home, I was watching every channel for their different reports.  And the era of the Big Media, most of the big media properties were sisters to the Big 3 Networks or cable news entities. Some did go off air to redirect viewers to their news outlets. And the radio markets I live in did the same thing wall to wall, and most of the local radio stations were brother stations to the all-news station or the talk radio station.
Post 9/11
I did go to The City 2 more times after, ether February or April Vacation and another Labor Day weekend with my mother as we strolled around Central Park and got a tour of NBC’s 30 Rock operations,etc. I also went to D.C. that following 4th of July and saw the side of the Pentagon that was getting ready to go back for business. My mother and I also went into the Monument that summer as well. I won’t ever forget that.
However post 9/11 was a different world. It changed my view of what America used to be and how the new America isn’t what I like.  I was 14 going on 11 (read a young 14 yead old) so my remaining innocence disappeared.   I would then go and spend the rest of my high school career in Massachusetts, a state known for its far anti American liberalism, where I saw my school take away the Pledge of Allegiance in only a few months. The work around was to do it by ourselves without the help of the paging of our phone system.  A few years prior to Obama being elected, a gut was telling me that someone needed to show more love to this country. That was also the same time I went to more sporting events.  I had felt more proud when I would hear the National Anthem, I felt like it was something missing for quite a while.
There were 3,000 lives that were gone in the 3 locations that day and its very sad to see people dying from the worst kinds of disater to happen. However they did luck out. It could had been a lot worse. I remember hearing from Neil Cavuto last September 10th mentioning there was a late game in The Bronx that the Yankees went to almost midnight, and some people were going to sleep in and go to work about 9:00 the latest. Also I will remember that it was a nice, late summer day. Many people ether took the day off, or went on vacation or whatever else. The complex would hold a daytime population of 50,000.
It was a very sad day on Sunday. I remember just being quiet and just having a sad look. I did have that sick feeling to my tummy on Thursday and Friday but I felt probably shocked. I felt the towers falling down was not only people gone but the country was we knew it. I don’t like how its been changed today, because I think the attacks created a new generation of people and all that crazy Wall Street stuff that got into that mess in 2008 probably took off after that in my observation. The City got more European thanks to the countless elections of Micheal Bloomberg. I have seen in pictures how yuppie it has looked. All those white painted lofts with simple looking office spaces and people with yuppie looks. I don’t remember that being the whole look of New York.
I won’t ever forget that day. It impacted me in so many ways as you have just read.