Tag Archives: Romance

Love and Lack of Romance

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I had a secret agenda of launching this blog back in early September. I used the “relationships” phrase with honest intentions of talking about the bigger picture. But it is easy to get distracted and getting stuck on love and romance.
Something I have never experienced, nor do I expect that I will fall in love.
I am sick and tired of dealing with crushes. They can be really dangerous, and I feel that crushes lead to a depressing road of pain, over dreamy thoughts, and large amounts of guilt.
And I am sick and tired of the ideal of waiting, and when one waits, the time will come. What? Like 2038? I can’t wait for someone to come. At the same time this logic kinda counteracts with the idea that one won’t meet a girl or a guy at home, because they don’t come knocking at your back door. So if one has to hear that on a number of times, then why do these people give you advice to wait?
Makes no sense. Especially in a hustle and bustle world of running their lives like an enterprise. Do they wait for a critical decision to do a business if they’re at work, or wait for the right moment to get that deal? Probably in a socialist world that is acceptable.
I don’t know anything.  And I think I am better off being an outsider, because this blog wouldn’t exist as someone wearing a V-tag* I’ve felt like an alien, and I do feel like an outsider looking into a clear glass.
*I can be a sci-fi geek, if you’ve heard of the 80s (that looked like from the 70s) the sci-fi program V you’ll know what I mean!
I’m just like a Lego minifigure looking through a glass window seeing things from an outsider, someone whose a professional who doesn’t have time to have emotions and fun.
And there’s nothing wrong with that!
*

No Girlfriend – No Problem!

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The beginning of the new year (well as early as late September, as I started the “Countdown”) was really a sigh of relief. I realized that the chances of me getting a girlfriend in the near to distant future was going to be pretty low odds. I really don’t see a future for me and romance.I just don’t see it.

While it is so painful dealing with the idea of being single, I’m finding it a good idea. I won’t have to worry about loosing my gf due to a big argument  I won’t have to worry about not getting AIDS or another STD, since the sex rates with the suburban girls are probably much higher than one thinks.

I won’t have to worry about getting distracted from the g/f, and I can continue to avoid from social situations since many 26 year olds are often taken, or in a committed relationship. And other 26 year olds often have gone to college, and I don’t.

I won’t have to worry about meeting various demands, since girls require a guy with a University education, and working for some large company taking home at least $45,000 after tax. I won’t have to feel so ashamed living with his mother as girls don’t want a “looser”.
It is best to stay single!

Girlfriends – Distraction (or something else?)

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I’ve heard from other people who have been more romantically experienced compared to this writer that girlfriends can become a distraction. I can’t independently confirm that obviously. But my friend from high school had changed my relationship because of his girlfriend, though I guess he and others aren’t the only ones.
If you are a geek that likes to watch The Big Bang Theory, a show that kinda mocks the super high functioning autistic community, you probably got a kick last Thursday night (if you watch it on CBS like me.) The super Asperger character was in competition of writing a term paper (or something like that) with his competitive friend. The Dr. Sheldon Cooper character started to feel not so smart because of his counterpart writing a better paper. Well it turns out his counterpart said if he was spending a lot of time with Amy,  his girlfriend. He also bragged about his alleged sex life, in which Sheldon doesn’t like or wants to do.
I’ll leave out the technical information, as you could go onto the CBS’ website and see the clips, I just want to keep this post general to people who might not watch that program. (If you are a reader from outside the United States, please consult to your local network’s listings/website to find the show in your area.)
But it is rather funny, even the most intelligent, but socially retarded individual could have his life disrupted due to being in a relationship.
But again, I do not know, because I have never been in any romantic relationship other than having endless crushes.
 

Slutty in the Head

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My mind can wander into the gutter, just like other guys as they can be visual and stuff like that.
I can get lusty thoughts up in my head. But of course, I have control my hormones because gawd forbid if I get a little frisky to a girl, then I have to worry about getting assaulted, etc.
Again it is a female majority, so we have to treat them as god, even though god is supposed to be a man. I have to give them high levels of respect.
Even when they dress trashy. We still have to treat them as queen bitches.
I get really offended from people like my mother who gets offended for me checking out a girl who clearly is doing it to get attention. My mother for maybe the rightful reasons has taught me to be “discrete” to visually look at a lady.

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Love is Gross!

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Love can be gross. My family doesn’t like romance, which is probably where I got the positive influence from.
I found this random Facebook profile recently, and thanks to the new cover pictures, it enables the alleged social elite to show off their rosey and privileged lifestyles. This individual couldn’t help herself of keeping some modesty of her content.
pda
This is pretty disturbing. If you love someone so much, just keep it to yourself. All you are doing is expecting some criminal case against you for sexual harassment!

Why I hate Vday

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I will be starting a series leading up to Valentine’s Day. I am not as bitter as I used to anymore of the Catholic created “card holiday” since Valentine was a Saint.
I digress.
Here is something about love that drives me nuts. All those proverbial thoughts about a fairy tale “story book” chapters. I sometimes get myself caught into my dreamy world. But in the real world, it is not good. Even Catfish sometimes sensationalizes stories to make them “storybook” like event.
I don’t like it. Its distracting. And its overrated. And its unrealistic.

SEEKING STORIES: “Normal”/ASD Romantic Relationships

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A project I am working in the coming months is to figure out if there is possibilities for people with autism to be in romantic relationships. One way is to see if they currently exist.
I’m seeking a female that is “normal”/”nerotypical“/non disabled and a male that is an autistic individual/other PDD/ADHD (since statistically this would be the common form of a inter/neurological relationship since most people with autism are 4 out of  5 cases are males.) I do not want to sound judgmental, I’d be more interested in people that don’t have Asperger Syndrome. Asperger Syndrome does not have the significance and severity of traditional autism or other high functioning autism.
I would like to know:

  • Are you in a relationship?
  • How long have you been in this relationship?
  • What are the advantages/disadvantages of a co-existing romantic relationship?
  • Have ether of you been single for the long-term prior to becoming a couple?
  • Are you engaged/married?
  • Optional, what about sex and physical relationships? How have you managed?

I’d love to hear from people to confirm if there is possibilities for others too.
If you are willing to do a collaborative story, or submit a story  you can use ether the comment page or contact me directly if you want it initially in confidence.

Crushes, part two

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If there is a such thing as a relationship status called “crushes” then that’s the only closest relationship outside of my family.
Another word is infatuation, meaning one is foolishly in love with someone. Crushes are well known for someone with ASD, as in some cases
I’ve dealt with it since I was 12. Some of them were highly intense and caused mass devastation in the years that followed. And it can be severe.  In many cases with ASD individuals is teachers, since many students are male and are in a 98% male educational establishment. And of course we cannot date teachers as that is immoral and illegal even when you are in that gray years of 18 to 21.
But I’ve gotten a LOT of grief throughout the years of having a crush on somebody. If I can redact part of my past, I would, but you can’t fully redact history.
I’ve learned to gag myself about talking about crushes in order to protect my reputation, since I am one that gives a damn about his reputation. Obviously I try to not be as obvious, and I’ve learned to try to tone down my feelings. I don’t talk about, just like how I just mentioned (hence the “gag’), and I just zip it. I’m not a homosexual, but I observe the “don’t ask, don’t tell” practice. If someone asks me if I have a crush on someone, I don’t say just like I shouldn’t say I have a crush on somebody.
Why?
Because if I do, then the crush becomes one large superstorm and it just get out of control and then the storm comes by with shame, anger and guilt.
And sure people may pick on me as a form of admiration, but it has destroyed my reputation.
I always happen to like the wrong people, the ones who are married or “In a Relationship” or someone with kids. And I also apparently like to repeat history and never learn from my mistakes, since I keep having infatuations with different people. Maybe because I have been so accustomed to a one-way relationship and having the PDD label tattooed on my forehead that I feel that will be the only relationship I can have, even if its strongly unhealthy.

Love is a Disease

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If there was a disease called “love” maybe it was a girl I liked who destructed one guy’s view on romance.
I don’t get what love is supposed to really  be.
image of "jessica" - the girl who ruined my heart
I shouldn’t even be wasting my time and resources and the small bandwidth and file size, but posting this picture of that “Jessica”* girl  is larger than life. I saw that in her back when I was 12 years old. I’ve been told to just forger her and pretend she’s dead.
*as much I don’t think she’s innocent, she deserves some level of a change of identity. I also “chyroned’ the crap of the image to prevent a potential  Catfish – even before I got addicted to that TV series
Well how am I supposed to let go of an alleged hot ticket Italian? Especially when there aren’t any other girl I knew from my local school that I had the same feeling.
RELATED: Meet The Girl who Ruined one’s Heart
This girl continues to haunt me even when I barely knew this girl! I don’t know much details other than her real name, her approximate age and lastly her current location of which she made public on her Facebook account, last seen in the summer of last year.
How am I supposed to overcome an attractive emotional monster?
This girl indirectly taught me what I felt was love and how she (there were other girls before and after that did similar but) damaged my soul. This girl was part of my 1999 collapse, the time of my middle school inexpierence, finding out of my autism, and starting to feel hopeless.
I was no angel ether!
I know I can’t fix the damage, I can only go forward, I know I know.
I don’t get it. Sometimes I get flashbacks, and chills down my spine.
Why do I love girls who are dare I say “virtual”?
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