Tag Archives: Romance

The Roadmap for this Blog

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So to refresh some people, I created an organizational chart of how this blog came to be to what is now to what the future is.
This purpose of this blog was to focus on deeper issues about relationships from the eyes of someone with autism. This blog had to be spunoff from my other blog to to that. My other blog has been very popular for people searching for answers like

These results often come on my search metrics every day. And any of those pages that get indexed doesn’t have answers. They are called “Unanswered Questions.”
So this publisher want’s to get really deep on various issues that would needed to be spunoff from the mothership blog. Here is the organizational roadmap of what this blog came to be, and what its future might be.
an image of the roadmap of the two blogs
Originally there was not an end target. The blog was going to just stories of observations of my life of how I saw love, friends, acquaintances, various degrees of relationships and then some.
As this past month went by, I started to loose patience. I am 25 years old, and fell off a cliff right on my 21st birthday. It will also be 5 years since I had a last job! I’ve also realized that my current programs doesn’t have what I need because its not in development yet, but at the same time the current social skills lessons are okie dokie with no issues. I have barely gotten into any romantic relationships, and I will admit I have sorta kissed some girls more than I have ever been kissed by someone outside my family! Never mind I can’t remember the last time I held hands, the last time I hugged a girl/lady, and I have never been able to get into any relationships where I could go all touchy, and into a sexual relationship of some sorts. I don’t want to sound harsh, but you know there aren’t that many single 25+ as time goes by, and you know a girl peaks in her sexual attraction about this time.  Never mind , the social norms of not wearing mini skirts, short shorts and other things after a certain age too.  My own hormones are starting to loose its youth too!
With that said, a new feature called a Countdown appeared after realizing the last 2 years of what my realistic future will become. Read The Tell All, and  it explains what I went through. Realizing that I really don’t have much of a future, by the beginning of next year, I am abstaining from any socialization, after 5 years of making it a priority.  This component will merge into The Forgotten Autistic as other issues will merge to the 12-31-12 deadline of giving up hope for any futures other than to work ones ass off.
So that’s how this blog became and will become.

Marriages, part two

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It used to be back in the days before the whiner generation (aka the Millennials and Gen X) that people would start to settle down in their lives in their mid twenties. So since this writer is in his mid twenties, and one who hasn’t had any positive romantic experiences, it would be of interest to explain why this writer has concerns about marriage.
Cost
The cost of getting married has very little to do legal procedures (unless you want to go forward with a prenuptual – which I find absurd because I believe once you get married, you stay married unless there is an obscene form of an infidelity or death.) I’ll get to that later about prenups.
The other issue about cost, is typically the groom pays for the majority of the costs of the wedding, the reception, etc. Now, my mother is the only parent in my life, whom of which is a single. If you want to put my grandmother in the mix, that’s fine. My mother is essentially a middle class worker, and my grandmother is retired and living off fixed income benefits, so my mother probably would have to put money down on that, which I can’t even think of an average cost off the top of my head,
The other issue is finding a girl who would have accepting parents to someone who is probably going to be poorer than his wife and her parents. I live in a snobby region, (here I go not accepting richer people.)
Honeymoons (and that 3 letter dirty word)
Now a honeymoon is typically a standard after a marriage that takes place. And from what I know a honeymoon is a code word for the first occurrence of a sexual relationship for the first time ever (if you subscribe fully to the New Testament of the Bible) or the first occurrence since marriage. To me, the idea of a honeymoon for essentially a subliminal event is just overrated.
Maybe its still the child inside of me who is scared of sex. (I mentioned about this subject recently.) And where would I go for that? I typically don’t care for warm weather, and I just don’t get the whole idea of it except for just fucking* my new wife (if that ever was to happen.)
* fuck – to have a sexual intercourse [typically with penis to vaginal] – I wanted to explain what that word really means when I say it.
Acceptance of the Wife’s family

Another issue is that dysfunctional families aren’t just isolated in the biological, or immediate family, the in-laws have a contributing factor of potential gridlock of being united together. Part of my frustrations is that I have not found a way to succeed or overcome my dysfunctions with my autism spectrum disorder or ASD as of yet. I’ve struggled with social issues, because I made one too many social mistakes as a kid so I am punished by having to put a gun to my head by not making mistakes. As such, I have basically isolated myself from the “real world” or dare I say the skeptical world. This baggage along with everything else has also made me frozen by not looking at work programs because I feel ashamed of my disorder. So yet again, I am in this vicious circle of “doing the right thing™*” but yet I still am screwed ether way.

*Potential trademark of Dr. Laura Selessenger/Clear Channel Radio/Premiere Radio Networks

So while struggling to “doing the right thing”, its difficult to find an accepting girl in an un accepting society filled of entitled brats and snobby people. On top of that, the girl might have rich parents that might look down at a potential “looser.” It doesn’t help that you are also a guy in his mid twenties that might be allegedly surviving just barely on “welfare” like benefits, on top of that being very busy trying to find his happiness and his future hopes and dreams in between finding a job. So there is so much pressure that’s put to a “lost boy” stereotype or even a “looser” (insert the Bart Simpson tone to that.)

If I wanted to get married to a girl, I would like a healthy relationship with her parents, her potential siblings (which might be a must since I never had siblings and I am not sure if its better not to have or to have such) and maybe her respective grandparents, because typically a mother and a father have two sets of respective their mothers and fathers.

Maybe this paragraph is too Utopian.

The Wedding Vows (and the Interpretation of such)
I don’t typically talk about religion, spirituality or even afterlife because its a conterversal subject, and its best to keep discussions off the Web and in your disconnected living room. Typically the vows goes something like this:

“I [suchandsuch] take this bride/groom
to love and behold
for richer or for poor
in sickness and health

until death do us part”

That last line is actually the dealbreaker. So a marriage is null and void when ether one dies. So basically the spouse goes away and the marriage is all over. So ether legally, or socially, love is not forever or eternal! If one of us don’t die together, s/he is gone! And I won’t be married to her in afterlife because of what the vow states! Why remarry to someone if the same thing were to happen?!
So with that being said, I am still on the fence about “marriage.” That doesn’t mean that you, a “normal” reader to this blog should use this post as an excuse to not get married and still be in a long term relationship and not attempting to tie the knot.

The Best Breakup Song (of any Relationships)

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Click onto this embedded YouTube video and the classic Guess Who’s No Time just is the visual tell all of the soundtrack of my relationships going to hell. In few of those occurrences (it happened during the summertime – the crushes) and in other cases it was the friends turning on me. I was about 18 or so when I got the hang of the lyrics and figured out the pain I would have to endure.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PNirREMmZIw]
 
Here’s some of the key phrases in the lyrics

“No time for a summer friend”

I felt that way in the summer of 2010

“Seasons changed and so did I”

Why do they call the season “fall” other than falling leaves?  I wonder now…

“No time for revolving doors”

jesus that was the story of my life – people coming and going every two years!

“You need not wonder why”
“Theres no time left left for you”

That last verse is just exactly how I was treated with no one actually saying that to me. I wasn’t good enough for them.
I’ll be posting more sappy songs on here over time, but I thought this would be a good one to start.

Kissing

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Update: 08-31-2012 @ 9:46 pm
I’ve realized after posting this that outside of my family, I have never been kissed by another girl. I obviously was thinking “lip kissing” but I can’t ever remember having some sensation near my cheekbone some girl around my age, though I have done the latter on many occasions. 
I have biased views on the whole thing on kissing. My mother doesn’t like it and thinks its gross, so I guess I learned it from the best, I suppose.
I have to admit my kissing really sucks. Its so embarrassing. I think a 5 year old is better than I am, well in today’s fast developing paced society – I wouldn’t be surprised!
I’ve never kissed a girl in her lips, and I am at the point where I don’t feel ashamed anymore. I can’t remember when the last time I kissed a girl on her cheeks, and even that probably was lame as hell.
It is really sick when you see people totally sucking lips or getting all mushy and sicky forms of affection – especially in public. Don’t get me started with P.D.A. or otherwise known as Public Displays of Affection.
Case in Point: Love sure sucks when you’re the disadvantaged one

The entire tell all about my concerns about “relationships”

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Update: 08-27-2012 @ 10:25pm/Eastern Time
I have created the page that contains items from this post. It has been edited and expanded and I will keep this post intact for the near future.
“RELEVENT” HISTORY
I am 25 years old. I have a form of a pervasive developmental disorder known as having a form of the autism spectrum disorder. So I am 25 (I may come off as a younger person and maybe fall as a minor with my looks and sounds) but I am feeling like I am getting old. I feel sometimes like a teenager with some rebelious attitudes. With my autism, I have had struggled with socializing when I was very young. I started to build some social skills at the second year of my fifth grade school year. Why was there a second? Because I had anxiety moving over to my local middle school, and to elievate the anxiety, the IEP team decided I should stay back so the transition to the local middle school would be easier.
Well it all went down to hell within two months, and I was placed out of district as per to my mothers demands having to go through that pain. At the same time, I noticed that the girl I had the hots for in the second year of fifth grade had treated me like crap by the end of that summer meanwhile an alleged hot-ticket-Itailian type would get away of verbally atacking me and just being very mean as those two months fell apart*
* I admit I was no angel, I remember attacking this girl of interest, but the girl just put a huge scar and those wounds haven’t (or may never) be fully healed
While in high school, I went to school in Massachusetts, an area that is one of the most liberal states on the East Coast.  My teacher was 25 when I came to her program, so this was 10 years ago – same age as I am today. However, she had a 6 or 7 year spread from her graduating her high school and prior to being hired at my school. She had focused on lots of mixed message on romance and friends. By Mass law, she was required to teach sex ed (or at least was supposed to ensure we got it in some way or another) but she opted to instead preach on psuedo science lessons like on “relationships” and “healthy” vs. “unhealthy relationships” and more and more pseudo BS about love and romance. I actally fell for much of her advice about relationships, but actually this came from someone still with a high school mind and instead of a wise and mature professional.
PEER PRESSURE  – EVEN TO THE SOCIALLY INGORANT
Even with my developmental disability, I still feel like I want to be like “everyone else”. I have been ether screwed by my ex friends or had to isolate myself to feel “safer” from being hurt because a) I didn’t go to a normal high school. I also didn’t retain the friends from elementary school, b) I didn’t build newer friends and didn’t go to college. c) I didn’t have a job since my 21st birthday so I haven’t been able to build from there  and d) I don’t have a significant other.
The latter is the one that really hurts
LOVE IS FOR THE SOCIALLY PRIVILEGED
I understand as much as I am different and it may be good to celebrate my differences, its very hard to find people like me. I can be very mature on different interests. Most 20somethings would rather play Halo than to build an Active Directory. Most “kids” would rather mess around with an iDevice rather than using an Apple with a fancy UNIX operating system. While most dumbasses would want to send texts (which has less personable communication than to email which in some ways replaced the handwritten leter) where its so easy to delete a message and is harder to retain compared to email. While most drama queens like their “friends” to be in the know on their Facebook profies, some would like a tiny ammount of a little off line, real world communication. I’m not asking for too much. But a pretty girl to look up or lets say just north of 30 seconds and acknowledge that a guy might be flirting with them by saying shes got a sexy skirt, even if the guy can’t fully say it.
So there is a syhtentic autism that is growing to the “normal” population, which is devestating to the legitmate autistic population. Its like the movie WALL-E happening in the real world less than 5 years after the release.
Onto the flirting, thats a whole other issue. Many people with PDD have experienced some degrading lessons on socializing with other people, in the sexual sense. Now in the PDD or the autism spectrum, you can have normal looking people and some “creepy” looking people too. But of course, since most SPED schools or programs could not do “indvidual” based lessons, they had to paint them with a broad brush that you had to stay restrained. The liberalism/feminist movement had really made issues a lot worse than actually fixing issues such as hostility at the work place. Thanks to the “sexual harrassment” laws, the special ed schools had to teach them because of course, the creepy boys would be the first target. After hearing that phrase over and over, it got drilled into our own BootROM. So since about 6 years ago, after one of my first sex ed lessons, my BootROM has essentially been drilled to stay away from being around girls or women, to avoid excessive (or any) flirting, and avoid using phrases such as “sexy”, “horny”, “hot” whatever, because it can offend women or even older men.
SEX – YOU DON’T THINK AUTISTICS AREN’T SLUTTY IN THE HEAD?
My thoughts on people and sexual types of questions keep popping in my head for my own safety and health (and just for plain ol curiosity). Like when I see these hotties whether or not they are in a group or alone, Is that chick thats with that guy her bf? When did she stop being a virgin? Did she start puberty early? because she look too mature for a 20 year old. How many times did they get screwed during their time at college majoring in partying? Do they have an STD? Should I even touch her? And what in the hell does it mean when you are “In a Relationship”? Does it mean you are a boyfriend or girlfriend? How serious is it? Are you fucking one another every night? Are you doing it with or without protection? How often? Does the girl take the pill to prevent any pre martial knock ups?
Then I think about her physical prefs. Is she dressing to just show off? Why is she covering her lower back if she knows if it exposes her area or her thong or tramp stamp? Why does she just tighten her belt to make her feel more comfortable? Why you are so offended at the people looking at your clevage. Its not my fault someone upstairs gave you a gift to be at least a hottie! Why do girls tease?
Why is it that I am told to be careful to look at girls in case I offend them when they are doing it to themselves? Why do girls get so damn offended on Facebook or MySpace websites of “creeps” “stalking” their profiles when they just pin themselves up for the same type of attention!
So I have some odd turn ons or fetishes – again “odd” compared to the “normal” people. But flirting does entail complementing someones physical looks (even if it comes off as sexual.) So I been so shy (thanks to the liberal establishment) to hit on a girl to say she’s got a hot belly piercing, not only could get worse if a guy is nearby protecting his friend or girlfriend. I’ve had thoughts of asking (again: asking) to kiss her belly I found it sexy. I like some girls who wear short shorts or skirts showing off her sexual attractiveness. I can’t even say shes “got hot legs” or “I like that sexy skirt.” Or what if shes wearing a nice belt, depending on the type. I feel awkward to say I love that sexy belt, or how snug it looks or how comfortable it feels, etc. Or if a girl is wearing a nice push up bra and her bust is nicely lifted (read: I love your sexy cleavage – or your are making me stiffy.) Since those tight fitting chokers are not in fashion, sometimes those can be a turn on and I can only say I like your necklace. I could go further with such sexual thoughts as flirts, but probably they are bedroom material. But of course, that will not happen, because who would want to date an autistic or even fuck with them?
While I am on the sexual note, I feel if I get older and are a heluvla lot less people my own age* that are single, I fear that my dream girl (that isn’t really that far off from reality) won’t be around. Again, I want substance (maybe not in the department of managing office phone systems, or understanding state and local government – again because they arent that many hotties that are smarties) but I also want a strong sense of style. I like the ladies in the Hollister outfits, the American Eagle tiny shorts or the skimpy tank tops from Aeropostale, or some evening dress or dresses from the juniors department at the local anchor mall store – or last but not least a girl wearing cutesy PINK outfits from the collection at Victoria’s Secret. I do like all types, some curvy, slender, but not boney skinny and not any kind of athletic build, as some are boney in some senses too. Girls are not supposed to show bones. And girls** start to peak of their sexual attractiveness at their mid 20s. So their bodies start to change after then. I see lots of couples get touchy and feeley (as I could press charges at them for “sexual harassment” ) and I feel like I am missing something. I’d love to be touchy and feeley (but maybe not in public as much to be modest.) I’d love to hug, kiss touch a part of her leg and get all frisky and stuff.
* It has been preached on many occasions that we should stick to people around our own age (remember the “2 year rule” as a 14 year old? This practice was still pushed in my late teens in the high school program ) because of the creep factor)
** no intention of degradion of such class of geneder is intended.
FRIENDS (“They won’ t be there for you”*)
* The TV Series was so overrated
So as I mentioned earlier, about my “friends” and how they had made me a massive fail. Friends is a vague definition, and it is open for translation. Temple Grandin (the know it all on autism, since she herself is a proud autistic) defines a “true friend” as “…true friendships are built on shared interests, or shared ideas, or shared principals, that you both hold meaningful; there’s always some common thread that binds you together.” Well the hard problem is there is no concrete definition and I can say that the “normal” groups are likely the ones that are abusing the definition.
When I moved to another town almost a couple years ago, whether or not it was by coincidence, my “friends” were starting to drift away. I admit that I was at time a nasty individual, but I also felt felt forgotten. I was still reeling over the mess from the previous decade and the post 21 debacle (thanks in part to inferior over regulations on the state and local level prohibiting the school support staff to be humans instead to be bureaucrats above the law) but even that, they should had understand. About 2007 and onwards, people had no idea on how the depth of a potential Doomsday would happen on ones 21st birthday, other than they are legal to get drunk if they so choose to.
I will use one example, a friend thats now an ex who allegedly has Asperger Syndrome, graduated at his original class back 7 years ago. He’s a bit over confident, admitting he wants to have a triple digit IQ. He has since gone to a local community college, and is getting transferred to the state university. In the summer of 2010, he started to make references of a “girlfriend” which got more and more serious. Recently they had their “2 year anniversary”, something that should be inappropriate for a boy/girlfriend “relationship.” This girl does exist, and she lives in the area, and it wasn’t any of his old alleged “girlfriends’ he had chatted on whatever IM client he was using. So this really was boggling my mind and to this day I still can’t fathom. Meanwhile another friend of mine (who happened to be that high school teacher that we started to become “friends” after her dismissal of the school program) she is an extreme liberal. She still subscribes as of 2010, the pseudo science of psych-o-logy. She had treated me as a mute and dumb person as per to the actual DSM definition of PDD, Autism or whatever current definition mute and dumb is. As I moved to my new town she said on the way back to my old home from a lunch (which was our only get togethers out, since I wasn’t good enough for her for anything else – maybe it was my bitterness) “Now that you don’t live in [XXXX ] anymore… now I won’t see you much anymore”
Wow, what a promising statement coming from such a whiny Valley Girl type! By this time my original Facebook account created in March of 2007 was already purged. By that fall she wouldn’t return constant phone calls and after number of failed phone tags, I started to give up. By that January, I wrote an email entitled in the Subject line “Termination of ‘Friendship'” she would reply back that her father was getting sick and she couldn’t get in touch with me. Well her alibi was allegedly false, meanwhile at that time, she had her public website, mentioning that she opened an art studio for special needs and was in local hyper media outlets during this alleged claim.
So my “friends” prior to the end of 2010 – were not meant to be for today. If figuratively my house was burning, they wouldn’t come for help. They had such attitude of arrogantly being independent, I’d be dead. Friends are supposed to be there when you need them the most. And these people had excuses upon excuses. And maybe I lived too far, but that shouldn’t had been an excuse. So the theme song on the TV series Friends would not ring true for my cases of such social courtships
To sum it up: I came to a damning conclusion that I might not have a hopeful social future in 2010, 2011 came to the realization and in 2012 the acceptance phase that I need to kiss having “normal” people with “normal” interests, having a healthy balance of work, family and friends, and most importantly a “girlfriend”.
Well after 2,400 words in the 1st draft, I think I got some story web of thoughts and emotions, and most importantly, the cement mixed up to start the foundation of this new blog. Lets kick this bitch off and hopefully we can hit many posts well into left field like I did with my other blog, on family, friends, romance, sex and damn the negative bias known as “social skills” to hell where it’s supposed to be! To screw the autism elite! To give the salute to the morons making socializing a pet project! To shut up the damned far-left liberals and their “zero tolerance” and their thin skinned approach of everything being “offensive”!  Let’s upgrade this bitch to Beta stage and open the doors to this blog and do a grand opening, of a go-live, a premiere date of September 10th!

The struggles of being me. (EDIT V2)

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I’ve had a long 25 years of baggage to wake up every morning and crawl out of my bed and trying to find the “next step” of my life that I have used for exactly 4 years now.
I’ve had more and more let-downs than comebacks. And that has nothing to do with my thinking, its the leadership of the ASD community, the leadership of adult services and the leadership of our political system that hasn’t help the manners. There has been quite a drama, and frustrations in Concord, and the political mess isn’t far from over. Its also not far from over with the the negative influence that people give to the individuals. The years leading to my last day of school on my 21st birthday, was really about the only thing going forward in my life was to work.
And lots of the skills were a decade behind the present standards, ranging from work ethics and how to find a job. I had my teacher saying in like 2007 that she was going to get the local Sunday newspaper because the Sunday editions have more classifieds. Around that time they were extinct in their existing form. Never mind the teachers of my school program were hesitant of teaching the students how to use Monster.com, Craiglist. Facebook was still in infancy to “everyone else” outside of the dot-edu addresses, and LinkedIn wasn’t even popular in the corporate world.
Oh and what drives me nuts, was even before the huge Facebook/MySpace/LinkedIn era, was the teachings of harassment, and the fear that was brought to us about the skeptical society. I wanted to give out business cards to pretty girls but after I was told that “after 9/11, people gotten creeped out” or it would be a “crapshoot in case” she was in a relationship or married.
What if I was doing a double prong approach to not only try to hook up, but you know, the networking word? The old fashioned way of giving cards out to people? Well since i am a “loner” type, I am often in the community by myself (thanks to my friends abandoning me) and you know i have that look that looks like I am the mute and dumb stereotype, I cannot do that. Then, thanks to elitists like Stephen Shore or Tony Atwood or Teresa Bolick, and other Asperger knowitalls of the world they, and including the school teachers also indoctrinate us about various “social” standards, “social status” and anything that has to do with “social.” At this point, it should be a vulgar word.
I can’t even be a salesman. My eBay record has really sucked. My resales of failed tech equipment, often had to be relisted on average of 3 times and a lack of interest. Its really crazy how a generation old technology can go down in price and be a lack of interest in only 9 months to a year! (Some of my Ci$co products were about 6 to 10 years old on the hardware side.) And I am not even sure if my Etsy account will do anything good.
I have been let down so much by various “adults” in my life, and what the hell am I supposed to do? I feel like I’m here without or I don’t have a reason to be here.
It’s a REAL SHAME to be suffering with what’s now becoming a “woman-made” disorder or disease, however you look at it.

Why Aren’t People Falling in Love (romantically) with the Autistic Population?

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I wrote a post back in February of last year about why autistic people don’t fall in love. This particular post has been one of the most searched and read posts on the web since this was published on Valentine’s Day of last year. There are people out there wondering if they can fall in love or not.
Well I don’t have that clear answer for that. Some do fall in love and some do not. It varies by their dis/abilities. Someone with Asperger Syndrome may be able to have some relationship and can vary to someone with a form of PDD that can’t stand girls.
I do have one possible answer, it has to do with society. Society has been trained that anyone with special needs should not be able to pursue love.  Another issue is the potential emotional  effects between the one with the disorder and the other with or without the similar disorder.  Another problem is that many people who are nurses, special education teachers or para-professionals have self esteem problems themselves, that they don’t want to deal with such baggage off the clock.
And also if one is living in the Suburbia or grew up in the suburbs doesn’t help them – it sure made me worse for sure! Ultra rich towns have been frowned upon the progress of special needs mostly in the autism side, since that’s a “hidden disability.” Since many are able to walk or don’t need physical assistance, they aren’t aware about the internal disorder or disease or disability.
For my case, I do feel afraid of romance due to the excessive teasing and picking on when I was younger and girl crazy. I had so many “crushes” that you could call me a slut. However, after that, I would start to feel ashamed if I liked someone. Love is a real complicated and complex issue that I still can’t understand to this day.
So in closing, I have no real answer why people can’t fall in love with autistics or people with autism.

Why Aren’t People Falling in Love (romantically) with the Autistic Population?

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I wrote a post back in February of last year about why autistic people don’t fall in love. This particular post has been one of the most searched and read posts on the web since this was published on Valentine’s Day of last year. There are people out there wondering if they can fall in love or not.
Well I don’t have that clear answer for that. Some do fall in love and some do not. It varies by their dis/abilities. Someone with Asperger Syndrome may be able to have some relationship and can vary to someone with a form of PDD that can’t stand girls.
I do have one possible answer, it has to do with society. Society has been trained that anyone with special needs should not be able to pursue love.  Another issue is the potential emotional  effects between the one with the disorder and the other with or without the similar disorder.  Another problem is that many people who are nurses, special education teachers or para-professionals have self esteem problems themselves, that they don’t want to deal with such baggage off the clock.
And also if one is living in the Suburbia or grew up in the suburbs doesn’t help them – it sure made me worse for sure! Ultra rich towns have been frowned upon the progress of special needs mostly in the autism side, since that’s a “hidden disability.” Since many are able to walk or don’t need physical assistance, they aren’t aware about the internal disorder or disease or disability.
For my case, I do feel afraid of romance due to the excessive teasing and picking on when I was younger and girl crazy. I had so many “crushes” that you could call me a slut. However, after that, I would start to feel ashamed if I liked someone. Love is a real complicated and complex issue that I still can’t understand to this day.
So in closing, I have no real answer why people can’t fall in love with autistics or people with autism.

Online Dating – OK for “Normal” scared girls – NOT OK for ANYONE with ASD.

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<bitching/>
People asked me in the past why do I not use online dating services. Well its because a whole slew of reasons, mostly because of girls being bitches.
I can’t keep track of how many times I have been on many online dating services. Every occurance, was to “just look” because paying $150+ for a contract with limited odds of finding someone online was thin right from the start.
This was around 2007 – 2008.
I’ve tried Match.com (the biggest rapists of a customer’s dollar), Zoosk (not as wasteful, but never subscribed) to OkCupid. OkCupid has been recently bought out by Match.com, Barry Diller’s InterActive Corp, which scored obsecene profits in the quarter of Valentines Day, though its still the same. (at least in the near future.)
The problem with OkCupid (even if you pay a little extra for additional stalking features and no messaging limits) is the users are pretty skeptical. Do I need to say what gender? Yes, you guessed right, Women, females, the ones that had been allegedly abused before.
I’ve been on OkCupid for about a month in the current carnation (I had an account late last year), but since I tried and tried, its these damned girls that ruin it for EVERYONE.
I did a lookup of a reversed matches of guys. Now on OkCupid, they have a multi light status of how often they reply to messages. Red means very selectively, yellow means they reply selectively and green means they reply often. Now every guy i found in my area was all green across the board. When you find females its all mixed, and in some cases (depending on their default picture if its pinned up – sorry for being sexist) they have a red light status.
Now why in the hell is females always so scared of guys. Where are the females that take advantage of guys? THERE is a decent number, but since the 60s came along and we were suffered with the Gloria Steinem types and girls being girls, and women doing whatever the hell please, NO one EVER wants to CALL them OUT! I am OFFENDED by the “feminism” movement because its fucking reversed-sexism!
And of course, since I have a goddamned developmental disorder, that is shunned thanks to the liberals that have MADE US QUOTE ON QUOTE  “DISABLED”, it puts even a deeper risk for the women!
Don’t get me started of being afraid that a girl will think I am a “looser” because I live with my mother and presently don’t work and I don’t drive. Jeez, whose the real “open minded” people on these damned dating service? Me!
And the other thing they work in “special education helping people with autism” or they work as an ABA. Yup, I can’t touch those people with a 10 foot pole, not that I am in school anymore, its because why in the hell would they want to come home to a disabled person since they do it for a day job.
Yup people ask me why I don’t do this stuff – its because its the bitches on these damned dating sites!
This is the many reasons why I just want to hate instead of being loving. The WOMEN are ruining society!
It would be so fucking awesome if a few would be taken off the planet! The world doesn’t need another bitch on the planet!
</bitching>

“Love shyness” and the Elephant in the Room

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2023 Note: In 2012, the world was more innocent than a decade later. “Love-shyness” is actually a major part of the “Manosphere” and the incel community,  Brian Gilmartin’s work is cited in the alpha vs. beta male description. There had been opinions that his work was fringe, and he was forced to go to Montana, and try to use the remaining credibility. Over a decade after writing this, I look at this that love-shyness from the originalist perspective (at that time 35 years ago) was people who were afraid of love, was on burnout much like the original intentions of the Incel USENET group. But when the incel and manosphere community started to take off by 2017, it was on anger, and attack on the other-side. MGTOWS and PUAs are extremely dangerous to the society and “love-shyness” as merged in part of the incel culture – the indiscriminate hate to women. Boy have some of my words gone moldy since…I hope men who have been extremely hurt and only anger is the PUA and MGTOW can take back the “Incel” name and make what it used to be

The most searched phrases in my search metrics, continues to be the whole theme can someone with autism fall in love, why autistic people can’t love, etc, etc.
I appreciate you people searching for that subject, because I still don’t have any ideas ether. It doesn’t help when the liberal elitists that knows it all when it comes to ASD and to the HFA population, because they don’t know everything because they create politics and ideals of what the population should be so the population gets screwed horribly.
Today, the focus will be on a subject known as  “Love shyness.” It’s coined by Brian G. Gilmartin who wrote a book in 1987 and had “estimated that love-shyness afflicts approximately 1.5% of American males and will prevent about 1.7 million U.S. males from ever marrying or experiencing intimate sexual contact with women“*
*From a Wikipedia article entitled “Love-shyness” referenced in a cautious manner.
From the same source, he stated with his data collection various factors, such as temperament, history of being bullied, that the “love-shy’s life” had grown up in dysfunctional families, etc.  Another striking fact was the

“men reported that their parents and societal attitudes pressured them into being “real boys” because of the men’s personalities as children. “

So here goes that “man-child” stereotype the rich bitches won’t want to touch with a 10 foot pole.
Also the social economic factor is shocking that

“As a result, all of the love-shy men were in the lower middle class or lower.”

My spin on that would be a “love-shyness” is probably a lot worse if one came up as a lower middle class and growing up in the Suburbia where a lot of girls are overprotected by their rich conservative leaning daddys. Hey, that’s worth shot I suppose.
After this book was originally published in the late 80s, he had confirmed that some of the cases may had been considered to be autistic or dare I say Asperger Syndrome. He had also responded to an email years after the publication that about 40% of the severely love-shy men would have AS or ADHD. And of course he probably at the time was ignorant about the high functioning cases of ASD or people who had severe cases of autism to be upgraded to a functioning equivalent of their peers.
Another piece would be is:

” He says in his book ‘Shyness is never ‘good’. Shyness obviates free choice and self-determination, and it stands squarely in the way of responsible self-control and self-management.’ Again, he states ‘Simply put, shyness is never healthy.'”

Well then try to educate the union thugs at the local liberal SPED programs in the public school system.
The takeaway is that “love-shyness”, however you want to slice and dice it, can be in some regards synthetic thanks to the excessive laws the Feds and state and local governments put into the special education classrooms. Oh, don’t get me started with the overzealous sexual harassment classes (where I don’t even think the mainstream classes even teach to begin with)  and how the Hacks basically frame us as freaks and creeps and who else knows what kills our self esteem.
Not dismissing love-shyness, but some of this is made up thanks to the ever so complicated issue of high functioning autism and the blur between the evil side of Asperger’s and the HFAs who struggle in life and again the upbringing in the classroom and the unions and liberals POV of what the ASD community needs to be.
The unions and the public schools can really do us a favor if they can get laid off and deregulate the special ed system so people won’t have to go through what I went through becoming a synthetic hopeless romantic.
However, this is one’s own opinion. I can’t speak for the rest of the population. This may just be pure emotion and not thinking rationally. I think the politics of autism or whatever social disorder has gotten way out of hand, and instead of preaching on “love-shyness”, maybe there should be less liberals teaching social skills for a change.