Tag Archives: Facebook

How “Friends” Selfishly Communicate in the 2010s. (V.2)

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My grandmothers birthday was recently. She lives in another community as we are preparing for her to move to our house by the end of the year. She is the last member of my small family to move into our new home that we have been living for the last couple of years.

We were going to plan to celebrate over the weekend, but it got postponed. I remembered her birthday on that specific day, and I sent an actual birthday card, and obviously it arrived a few days later. I need to call her and check up on the status.

My grandmother is as analog as you get (she lives in such old social standards, like sending a card that is HANDWRITTEN of a thank you via post mail. She doesn’t like the ideal of Facebook (because she’s an extremely private and quiet individual, therefore she doesn’t like how people would post their entire lives on the internet. In some ways I don’t like that because my general ideal of excessive privacy leads to troubled and corrupted lifestyles – i.e. my own personal views of local government lead me to be somewhat opposite to her views.)

She never used a computer outside of work (only using a specific mission critical app in the last decade), and she again, as an old lady prefers phone calls and letters. Because she’s a “farmers girl”, she views the world as “little” and revolves what my former town being “small town” like 5,000 people small which wasn’t the same in over a half a century ago.

Well I am someone who tends to not focus on the past (thats the family curse of afraid of change) but I try to live in a semi reasonable, but progressive society. At some point people need to adapt and stop reliving like my town is still a small town where everyone knows everybody, etc.

Now that ends to a point, and when my nostalgia comes into play.

I often don’t celebrate my birthday (and its becoming just “another day” beginning this year) because it was generally forgotten. People would not remember, often they need some aid to help them, like using Facebook – that’s if someone publicly publishes their birthdate/day online. The “friends” I used to have were really not friends. These people never seemed to look beyond your default picture or album. I had my birthdate as my handle on my MySpace, YouTube and Twitter accounts, but no one seemed to ever visit them, or even question what 3 digit number meant, especially when I used to put strong synergy across all my profiles.
They never reciprocated, and never went the extra mile (because that was dirty work for these entitled jerks.) Now granted, I did send emails, and not cards via mail. But an email is now the social standard to the old fashioned “letter” but digital and in fact is more personable than opposed to text. If you use Microsoft’s Outlook like I do, email gets stored into a computer file and can be read on any modern email client, etc.

Text messaging, however is the lowest standard for communication. Why? Its because the text messages can easily be deleted, and one touch of a button and the message disappears for good. This isn’t good if you want to keep a breakup letter for eternity as opposed to a letter or an email. Its much easier to send a half-assed thoughtful message via SMS as opposed to taking 5 minutes out of your busy life to type up and send an email birthday wish, etc. (For the record, I was never a fan of online greeting cards.)

Now back to Facebook, often if a birthday occurs, it gets published on the frontpage, then one starts the wish, then it extends to everyone else when people start to notice that trend on their News Feed. I did a test in 2010, made my birthday private, then made it public later that day. Guess what happened? These alleged “friends” wished my a happy birthday after. How fucked up is that? These same people who didn’t care that I turned 21 ether, never offered to have a drink together or what, as these people were social alcoholics to begin with.

Facebook, and all these other iDemented devices are really dumbing down the “normal” population and the groups who were forced and mentally raped of social standards, and socialization protocols, and other CAN’T dos, are actually going to be the best and the brightest because we socialize like robots by doing protocols and ettiques, while the “normal” population have an open license to be a jerk.

I try to be the good guy, and yet I get punished.

Faux “Friends”

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I have mentioned earlier about how some of my “friends” made a massive fail in the last couple of years. I realized that some of the handful of friends preferred the “cyber” relationship, using ether the social networking sites or using the instant messaging client. One incident was nearly 2 years ago, before I moved to my new town, and one of my pals had asked me about some event that was going to happen about the time I had seen this individual. She asked me “did you get the invite?” referring to a Facebook invite request. I had told her that I had purged my Facebook account (and no, not “deactivate” as some think thats how you close a Facebook account down) and I was just tired of using it.
Now an alleged “true friend” would follow up (especially if you are theoretically close to that individual) ether by looking me up (you know you have to use the search function when you have 600 “friends”) or go the old fashioned way of oh I dunno, EMAIL or dare I say my 10-digit cell number?
This individual is hack, she cheated her way through being a high school teacher thanks to loopholes of the law, and being a union employee and using her “dyslexia” as her “disability” you get fruitcakes like her not screwing students with their ignorance, you get fruitcakes being a lazy-ass not trying to go a little beyond her abilities to follow up on this invite to her “friend”.
I just can’t stand people who can’t even remember one’s birthday. I think it bothers me because my birthday had been forgotten and I never got full attention outside of my family. That same year, I hid my birthday to private, leading to that day. I put it to private that evening, and I got electronic wishes from my alleged “friends.”
I don’t use Facebook because I don’t have “real” friends, and I feel using Facebook for just catching up with “acquaintances” is just useless. And would you think using Facebook just to post pictures of you behind the camera and posting things that are probably useless only to you would seem to be odd or just waste of ones time?
Politically, Facebook drives me nuts, they are taking the stuff you post and using it against you to the advertisers without your knowledge. I am not going to discuss whether or not posting pictures of one being wasted is or is not appropriate, its their own issue, not mine or yours for that manner. My issue is I can’t stand a company getting away of doing bad things and a “free market” being abused. Granted, I feel that I have to use it to reach a broader audience maintaining the Facebook pages for my two blogs.

“Can I be your [Facebook] friend?”

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Well that depends on you level of the relations with that person.
At a really young age of about 18, I saw the smoke through the mirrors. That was back when MySpace was ruling the world while Friendster was on life support and Facebook was still known to the privileged elite. I knew that a “friend” on a social networking website was kinda like a Rolodex card or a “contact” according to LinkedIn.
I was setting my self up for realistic expectations. My MySpace had up to 20 “friends” partially because many went over to Facebook and by the height of my original Facebook account, I had up to 40 “friends” or “contacts”. Some didn’t friend me for reasons I have no idea, because my other friends were “friends” of various people. Even old elementary school teachers were too chicken. This was after I was 21. Wasn’t a student. Was it because I was too nasty in the past via the internet communication?
I knew when I “friended” some of my old classmates from my old town, I knew that I wouldn’t ever meet them in person again. Because I stopped seeing them once I left out of district, and you know how perceptions change as people progress and evolve.
However, the normal (or “nerotypical”) groups are the really socially demented ones. They brag about their friend count (some in the low to mid thousands!) and they are the actual “fake” ones with a “real” or “full name”. Their default pictures often  glamorize their shallow life. So I ask why is it ok for them  to be “fake” and demented while people like me who have socially awkward problems are the ones that shouldn’t be shunned? People tell me that they believe that I am a real person so why are these “fake” people getting enabled to be a plastic drama queen?
Never mind rich families (don’t matter if you are a republican Wingnut or a democratic Moonbat – because both are arrogant) that have enabled their children to give negative stereotypes of people of developmental disorders or disabilities. So if you try to friend a girl (sorry for the sexism) on Facebook, if they see your profile they may just get scared of you because they are afraid of unknown.
I’ve been burned of what I thought were my real-life “friends” that I tried to retain on Facebook as well (what’s wrong having an offline/online balance? there shouldn’t be) though in fact they treated me as a virtual person and had severely betrayed me. I had to cut these allegedly “important” people out of my life and the last year and a half after was the most painful social (in)experiences in recent memory before that leaving my local middle school and suddenly loosing contact of what were elementary “friends” a year before.
So between relationship levels, “social pyramids”, statuses, and privileged statuses, Facebook has not been successful in the last couple of years. Because I am not good for those “friends”. Simply I am a pile of dirt until I have to prove the higher social levels that I am good enough to be in their social clique.
That might had been a vague paragraph, but this is how the ellitests on autism teach (or preach) upon these individuals like moi. We have to THINK. THINK about how I am related to this friend, THINK what social level I am with, ARE these people ok to go out outside the packet-based world? ARE these people close enough to talk about various issues, should I THINK in case I screw up, if I might get pressed charges for being a creep?
These are the many “social” baggages I carry every day thanks to a small group of people making me feel useless. Or maybe I didn’t listen because I have esteem issues. I don’t know now. All I know is I am “socially” confused. This is why this blog exists.

The best way to socially network…

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is to click on log out
 
This screengrab of the logout link on Facebook was taken a few years ago (I thought I had one with the cursor pointing to it) after noticing my alleged “friends” really wasn’t paying attention to me but their other “friends”. They could’ve cared less about my stuff I put up and engaging more but I ether wasn’t good enough or I might not have the best packet-based presence as opposed to the offline presence.

The entire tell all about my concerns about “relationships”

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Update: 08-27-2012 @ 10:25pm/Eastern Time
I have created the page that contains items from this post. It has been edited and expanded and I will keep this post intact for the near future.
“RELEVENT” HISTORY
I am 25 years old. I have a form of a pervasive developmental disorder known as having a form of the autism spectrum disorder. So I am 25 (I may come off as a younger person and maybe fall as a minor with my looks and sounds) but I am feeling like I am getting old. I feel sometimes like a teenager with some rebelious attitudes. With my autism, I have had struggled with socializing when I was very young. I started to build some social skills at the second year of my fifth grade school year. Why was there a second? Because I had anxiety moving over to my local middle school, and to elievate the anxiety, the IEP team decided I should stay back so the transition to the local middle school would be easier.
Well it all went down to hell within two months, and I was placed out of district as per to my mothers demands having to go through that pain. At the same time, I noticed that the girl I had the hots for in the second year of fifth grade had treated me like crap by the end of that summer meanwhile an alleged hot-ticket-Itailian type would get away of verbally atacking me and just being very mean as those two months fell apart*
* I admit I was no angel, I remember attacking this girl of interest, but the girl just put a huge scar and those wounds haven’t (or may never) be fully healed
While in high school, I went to school in Massachusetts, an area that is one of the most liberal states on the East Coast.  My teacher was 25 when I came to her program, so this was 10 years ago – same age as I am today. However, she had a 6 or 7 year spread from her graduating her high school and prior to being hired at my school. She had focused on lots of mixed message on romance and friends. By Mass law, she was required to teach sex ed (or at least was supposed to ensure we got it in some way or another) but she opted to instead preach on psuedo science lessons like on “relationships” and “healthy” vs. “unhealthy relationships” and more and more pseudo BS about love and romance. I actally fell for much of her advice about relationships, but actually this came from someone still with a high school mind and instead of a wise and mature professional.
PEER PRESSURE  – EVEN TO THE SOCIALLY INGORANT
Even with my developmental disability, I still feel like I want to be like “everyone else”. I have been ether screwed by my ex friends or had to isolate myself to feel “safer” from being hurt because a) I didn’t go to a normal high school. I also didn’t retain the friends from elementary school, b) I didn’t build newer friends and didn’t go to college. c) I didn’t have a job since my 21st birthday so I haven’t been able to build from there  and d) I don’t have a significant other.
The latter is the one that really hurts
LOVE IS FOR THE SOCIALLY PRIVILEGED
I understand as much as I am different and it may be good to celebrate my differences, its very hard to find people like me. I can be very mature on different interests. Most 20somethings would rather play Halo than to build an Active Directory. Most “kids” would rather mess around with an iDevice rather than using an Apple with a fancy UNIX operating system. While most dumbasses would want to send texts (which has less personable communication than to email which in some ways replaced the handwritten leter) where its so easy to delete a message and is harder to retain compared to email. While most drama queens like their “friends” to be in the know on their Facebook profies, some would like a tiny ammount of a little off line, real world communication. I’m not asking for too much. But a pretty girl to look up or lets say just north of 30 seconds and acknowledge that a guy might be flirting with them by saying shes got a sexy skirt, even if the guy can’t fully say it.
So there is a syhtentic autism that is growing to the “normal” population, which is devestating to the legitmate autistic population. Its like the movie WALL-E happening in the real world less than 5 years after the release.
Onto the flirting, thats a whole other issue. Many people with PDD have experienced some degrading lessons on socializing with other people, in the sexual sense. Now in the PDD or the autism spectrum, you can have normal looking people and some “creepy” looking people too. But of course, since most SPED schools or programs could not do “indvidual” based lessons, they had to paint them with a broad brush that you had to stay restrained. The liberalism/feminist movement had really made issues a lot worse than actually fixing issues such as hostility at the work place. Thanks to the “sexual harrassment” laws, the special ed schools had to teach them because of course, the creepy boys would be the first target. After hearing that phrase over and over, it got drilled into our own BootROM. So since about 6 years ago, after one of my first sex ed lessons, my BootROM has essentially been drilled to stay away from being around girls or women, to avoid excessive (or any) flirting, and avoid using phrases such as “sexy”, “horny”, “hot” whatever, because it can offend women or even older men.
SEX – YOU DON’T THINK AUTISTICS AREN’T SLUTTY IN THE HEAD?
My thoughts on people and sexual types of questions keep popping in my head for my own safety and health (and just for plain ol curiosity). Like when I see these hotties whether or not they are in a group or alone, Is that chick thats with that guy her bf? When did she stop being a virgin? Did she start puberty early? because she look too mature for a 20 year old. How many times did they get screwed during their time at college majoring in partying? Do they have an STD? Should I even touch her? And what in the hell does it mean when you are “In a Relationship”? Does it mean you are a boyfriend or girlfriend? How serious is it? Are you fucking one another every night? Are you doing it with or without protection? How often? Does the girl take the pill to prevent any pre martial knock ups?
Then I think about her physical prefs. Is she dressing to just show off? Why is she covering her lower back if she knows if it exposes her area or her thong or tramp stamp? Why does she just tighten her belt to make her feel more comfortable? Why you are so offended at the people looking at your clevage. Its not my fault someone upstairs gave you a gift to be at least a hottie! Why do girls tease?
Why is it that I am told to be careful to look at girls in case I offend them when they are doing it to themselves? Why do girls get so damn offended on Facebook or MySpace websites of “creeps” “stalking” their profiles when they just pin themselves up for the same type of attention!
So I have some odd turn ons or fetishes – again “odd” compared to the “normal” people. But flirting does entail complementing someones physical looks (even if it comes off as sexual.) So I been so shy (thanks to the liberal establishment) to hit on a girl to say she’s got a hot belly piercing, not only could get worse if a guy is nearby protecting his friend or girlfriend. I’ve had thoughts of asking (again: asking) to kiss her belly I found it sexy. I like some girls who wear short shorts or skirts showing off her sexual attractiveness. I can’t even say shes “got hot legs” or “I like that sexy skirt.” Or what if shes wearing a nice belt, depending on the type. I feel awkward to say I love that sexy belt, or how snug it looks or how comfortable it feels, etc. Or if a girl is wearing a nice push up bra and her bust is nicely lifted (read: I love your sexy cleavage – or your are making me stiffy.) Since those tight fitting chokers are not in fashion, sometimes those can be a turn on and I can only say I like your necklace. I could go further with such sexual thoughts as flirts, but probably they are bedroom material. But of course, that will not happen, because who would want to date an autistic or even fuck with them?
While I am on the sexual note, I feel if I get older and are a heluvla lot less people my own age* that are single, I fear that my dream girl (that isn’t really that far off from reality) won’t be around. Again, I want substance (maybe not in the department of managing office phone systems, or understanding state and local government – again because they arent that many hotties that are smarties) but I also want a strong sense of style. I like the ladies in the Hollister outfits, the American Eagle tiny shorts or the skimpy tank tops from Aeropostale, or some evening dress or dresses from the juniors department at the local anchor mall store – or last but not least a girl wearing cutesy PINK outfits from the collection at Victoria’s Secret. I do like all types, some curvy, slender, but not boney skinny and not any kind of athletic build, as some are boney in some senses too. Girls are not supposed to show bones. And girls** start to peak of their sexual attractiveness at their mid 20s. So their bodies start to change after then. I see lots of couples get touchy and feeley (as I could press charges at them for “sexual harassment” ) and I feel like I am missing something. I’d love to be touchy and feeley (but maybe not in public as much to be modest.) I’d love to hug, kiss touch a part of her leg and get all frisky and stuff.
* It has been preached on many occasions that we should stick to people around our own age (remember the “2 year rule” as a 14 year old? This practice was still pushed in my late teens in the high school program ) because of the creep factor)
** no intention of degradion of such class of geneder is intended.
FRIENDS (“They won’ t be there for you”*)
* The TV Series was so overrated
So as I mentioned earlier, about my “friends” and how they had made me a massive fail. Friends is a vague definition, and it is open for translation. Temple Grandin (the know it all on autism, since she herself is a proud autistic) defines a “true friend” as “…true friendships are built on shared interests, or shared ideas, or shared principals, that you both hold meaningful; there’s always some common thread that binds you together.” Well the hard problem is there is no concrete definition and I can say that the “normal” groups are likely the ones that are abusing the definition.
When I moved to another town almost a couple years ago, whether or not it was by coincidence, my “friends” were starting to drift away. I admit that I was at time a nasty individual, but I also felt felt forgotten. I was still reeling over the mess from the previous decade and the post 21 debacle (thanks in part to inferior over regulations on the state and local level prohibiting the school support staff to be humans instead to be bureaucrats above the law) but even that, they should had understand. About 2007 and onwards, people had no idea on how the depth of a potential Doomsday would happen on ones 21st birthday, other than they are legal to get drunk if they so choose to.
I will use one example, a friend thats now an ex who allegedly has Asperger Syndrome, graduated at his original class back 7 years ago. He’s a bit over confident, admitting he wants to have a triple digit IQ. He has since gone to a local community college, and is getting transferred to the state university. In the summer of 2010, he started to make references of a “girlfriend” which got more and more serious. Recently they had their “2 year anniversary”, something that should be inappropriate for a boy/girlfriend “relationship.” This girl does exist, and she lives in the area, and it wasn’t any of his old alleged “girlfriends’ he had chatted on whatever IM client he was using. So this really was boggling my mind and to this day I still can’t fathom. Meanwhile another friend of mine (who happened to be that high school teacher that we started to become “friends” after her dismissal of the school program) she is an extreme liberal. She still subscribes as of 2010, the pseudo science of psych-o-logy. She had treated me as a mute and dumb person as per to the actual DSM definition of PDD, Autism or whatever current definition mute and dumb is. As I moved to my new town she said on the way back to my old home from a lunch (which was our only get togethers out, since I wasn’t good enough for her for anything else – maybe it was my bitterness) “Now that you don’t live in [XXXX ] anymore… now I won’t see you much anymore”
Wow, what a promising statement coming from such a whiny Valley Girl type! By this time my original Facebook account created in March of 2007 was already purged. By that fall she wouldn’t return constant phone calls and after number of failed phone tags, I started to give up. By that January, I wrote an email entitled in the Subject line “Termination of ‘Friendship'” she would reply back that her father was getting sick and she couldn’t get in touch with me. Well her alibi was allegedly false, meanwhile at that time, she had her public website, mentioning that she opened an art studio for special needs and was in local hyper media outlets during this alleged claim.
So my “friends” prior to the end of 2010 – were not meant to be for today. If figuratively my house was burning, they wouldn’t come for help. They had such attitude of arrogantly being independent, I’d be dead. Friends are supposed to be there when you need them the most. And these people had excuses upon excuses. And maybe I lived too far, but that shouldn’t had been an excuse. So the theme song on the TV series Friends would not ring true for my cases of such social courtships
To sum it up: I came to a damning conclusion that I might not have a hopeful social future in 2010, 2011 came to the realization and in 2012 the acceptance phase that I need to kiss having “normal” people with “normal” interests, having a healthy balance of work, family and friends, and most importantly a “girlfriend”.
Well after 2,400 words in the 1st draft, I think I got some story web of thoughts and emotions, and most importantly, the cement mixed up to start the foundation of this new blog. Lets kick this bitch off and hopefully we can hit many posts well into left field like I did with my other blog, on family, friends, romance, sex and damn the negative bias known as “social skills” to hell where it’s supposed to be! To screw the autism elite! To give the salute to the morons making socializing a pet project! To shut up the damned far-left liberals and their “zero tolerance” and their thin skinned approach of everything being “offensive”!  Let’s upgrade this bitch to Beta stage and open the doors to this blog and do a grand opening, of a go-live, a premiere date of September 10th!

NEWS ALERT: Autism rates are now 1 in 88 children!

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Where’s my breaking news bell?
No this should not be any news alert whatsoever. In fact its hideous. Its insane. It should be challenged. Or better yet, ASD should be renamed as the Autism Spectrum Disease as it has been refereed as an “epidemic.”
On Thursday, the Centers for Disease Control had formally announced that the cases for ASD is now in 1 and 88 children. Their answer is that there are better ways to diagnose children than back 20 years ago and there are better ways now to effectively tackle the problems.
Well we can say the same thing with the Millennial Generation. I bet 1 and 88 adults born after 1977 have a synthetic autism where they are non verbal, and their social skills are problematic where they drink and have excessive sex, degrade their elders, treat people like crap and communicate on assistive technologies (ATECH) like their iPhone, or Android or BlackBerry devices with an app called text messaging. They also use Facebook to socially network, but if you have true case of ASD, its often frowned upon indirectly. If they say something inappropriately, thats ok, but if you have a true case of ASD and you were raised to be accepted as a creep, than you would get blocked and people defriending you.
I am not bullshitting the real cases of ASD (where i still believe in the 1 in 150, not this BS coming from the Obama administration) What I am BSing, is the numbers. Just like in other industries where problems are created to create job security, i think in special education this is the same problem.
People will use man-made to describe something, but for this subject it would offend females, so I have to say that some of the autism numbers or cases may have been woman-made thanks to women (meaning someone with female reproductive parts) in leadership in the local special ed departments, the local agencies for post-21 (or older) adults, or executives in human services. And those same ones are of age that they are post-menopausal, and they have the empty-nest syndrome. So of course, that might have to do with the numbers being what it is…that can’t be a conspiracy theory, right?
Am I advocating a “cure” for autism? No. Do I believe there is a “cure”? No I do not at the moment? Do I believe the “inclusion” of special ed kids in the mainstream classrooms caused the normal students to become more “special” than their counterpart? Partially yes. Do I believe the same practice caused society to be closed minded to the ASD population? As perverted as it is – yes.
The other problem lies in between PhDs vs the Psychiatrists with an M.D. background and their clashes to combat the disorder (the PhD’s perspective) vs. the disease (the M.D.’s perspective.) The DSM 5 is supposed to come out this year, and it may get pushed back a few years later thanks to distraction disorders like “shyness” or a “broken heart” or whatever bullshit comes from the over-educated, rest of the world mindset and the anti-Christan types that are making up “labels” to rip off the insurance companies (and if Obamacare is legal, then we will be ripped off.)
Because there are so many distractions to the DSM, the politics of ASD are still up in the air, meanwhile people like yours truly has been defined by the disorder, and he cannot define himself.
They aren’t kidding when liberalism is a mental disorder. I would love to see that in the DSM, but thats way too politically incorrect to put that in there.