Category Archives: 2020HopelessAutisticRemains

Published on WordPress.com from late 2015 to part of 2017. Anger or resentment in such tone is for historical purposes only. It has been incorporated into clickfo.me platform on July 2021. I actually saw the writing on the wall that the developmentally delayed system was in failure within five years. While I wished my prediction was wrong, it actually did happen, and COVID19 was a big distraction. Some of the resentment fired up in the #LondonderryNHExposed podcast series in late ’20, early ’21

Small Talk Fails

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I typically go to Starbucks on my way to my program for a light lunch (albeit not the most healthiest option, but what the hell.) I go here over the local Dunkin which has a bad track record of ultra fast paced, spiffy, screw up the order, and if you’re neurological allergic to caffeinated coffee, that’s not their problem!

I’m not very good in small talk, not because it’s annoying; not because it’s socially complicated; its what can I say when I am a nobody?

I’m not even self employed! I’m not in any relationship! I don’t have that much family or friends! And is there an unwritten rule to not talk about day programs outside the property? I never felt comfortable talking about that.

Last week a lady that knows me by name asked what my plans were for the rest of the day. I pulled a Bill Belechick and gave a no answer to a question. Because what should I say, you know? I still do not feel 100% safe being in a community and I hate being such an oxymoron…but I love the idea of the small talk, but when it happens, I blow it!

A+ for trying? Maybe not.

*

Corrupt Match.com Made this Hopeless Autistic a Hopeless Romantic Too!

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I wrote on my other site last fall when Match.com was spun off by IAC/InterActive Corp (a company with a very bad PR record.) I explain how much Match charges and how I haven’t found a special someone, and how many dating sites to the point the DOJ should break up the company.

More on this by clicking here.

The Autism Establishment

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There is a monopoly of an establishment of experts on the disorder who clearly know that their actions have inadvertently caused unintended consequences.

Many doctors or “doctors” in name only have worked with clients at a very young age. Supposedly children with autism become teenagers and apparently my group of people become these puffed up prickly monster fish that you see in Finding Nemo. The problem is there these experts that are very ageist, focus on a single disorder, a single demographic, and well they could care less if they cause unintended consequences with improper use of advice, etc..

Those unintended consequences hurts the individual more than the professionals themselves. Another example of a monopolistic practice is if they realize they have no control of the individuals, what do they do? Just like liberals and their ad-homonym attacks; they’ll punish you like a child! Because afterall they don’t have any more control over some autistic individuals. They cannot accept the fact they can be their own person, make their own decisions, so they feel powerless. But what’s really interesting, is some of the individuals themselves are powerless too.

I hope this little brain teaser makes you think about how broken the autism narrative is in my humble state that I call “home.”

The Top 5 Heartbreaking Songs

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As dictated by Corporate America, in mid January it’s now the season for Valentine’s Day, despite less than a month away. I’d thought I’d share my Top 5 hearbreaking songs, since listening to the easy-music station in my preteen years, was more than likely an oman of my hopeless romance I’d encounter well past adulthood.

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2016: The Year of Lessons

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I’ve learned a lot in 2015. And now hello 2016, and let me tell you what I’ve learned from last year to not repeat again this year.

  • Only speak for yourself. Do NOT advocate  for others unless you know the full situation (take that ASAN!)
  • If law enforcement ever approaches you, don’t challenge them under email protected by public records laws, or be subjected to a false police report where police and town personnel will abuse you and get away with it!
  • Never use foils, slide shows or PowerPoints. Management could care less.
  • Management could care less about your past. Try to get counseling instead.
  • But wait! What do you do if there is no mental health assistance? You just have to wing it!
  • Don’t ever look up to anybody. Male or female at all! God that Anna Nalick that I saw in Ltown who was on my playlist 10 years ago looks like an Opoid user. (I won’t go further bashing a C-list celeb in 2016.) Being inspired by tech star Luria Petrucci, screw her. I bet she has skeletons in her closet too. (I mentioned Luria in one of the first posts after watching an alleged motivational  subject hosted by the said woman.)
  • Happiness never exists for borderline autistics like I am.
  • The only reason why I’m stuck is not that I’m scared, I was taught to be scared.
  • Despite all the “support” you get that they are looking out for you; it’s all smoke in the mirrors.
  • Also if you’re known to break rules, maybe win the Powerball so you can hire a lawyer for the rest of your life.
  • One last thing: I’ll be giving my mother legal custody of all pictures and school work as a child. (oh yeah and artwork too.) I do not want to own documents, pictures of happiness from prior to year 2010. I want to purge all the memories, virtually from childhood to young adult. My life was altered at 12. I want to be clear anything from South School should be purged forever! I ran into a 5th grade teacher in Manchester last year, but I really didn’t know who the hell she was until I had to think. If my mother doesn’t want to be the custodian of vital and historic documentation; then I’ll put all my Londonderry history underneath the backyard where my fish Tangie died in the summer of 2014. It has to go to hell sooner than later!

Oh and some of these advice doesn’t come from me originally. I’ve been around to be around my autistic (or Dev Disabled) peers and they are just as risk-on to life like how I will become.

2015 was an important year to learn how NOT to be inspired, how NOT to follow other people, how NOT to be like “others” and how NOT to be yourself. I’ve learned don’t do anything, just give up. That’s my plan for 2016.

As 2016 gets older, I will give you blunt advice on how to not take any risks and just avoid community altogether because as experts in this state will say “the real world” is harsh.

*hoping my brain will explode once and for all*

Memo to God

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If a god does exist, supposedly “he” wouldn’t read blogs (or this memo for that matter.)

Dear God (if there is one to exist)

Why did you create me?

If you were the creator, then why did you put me here? I don’t feel that I serve a purpose. I don’t know why other than I’m a gift of my mother that I’m here. Why did you put me here despite you knowing my family would likely fall apart? Why give me a fractured family? Other than my mother, who else am I supposed to be here for? What am I supposed to do? What have I done wrong? I feel like I’ve done “bad” things. I can never figure out the moral compass, it was defective, just like my brain, I feel partially brain dead.

What did I do so wrong to be punished be treated like a resident third world hellhole?

Am I really the devil’s child? I’m I really a product of something “good”?

I felt like I did so many wrongs in the world, and I’m sorry to let you down, if you really exist. I can understand why I don’t have any friends of romantic relationships because I am a defective human being that also did too many wrongs instead of “right”.

Excuse me while I refuse to pray as that didn’t seem to go anywhere recently.

Overprotective Parenting Vs. Reality

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Some special needs parents have created unintended consequences due to the idea that their child is so allegedly disabled, that they have a need to “protect” them. Sadly this logic has become more and more false, and it hasn’t been confirmed by experts because they themselves are so arrogant to accept the facts.

The problem is parenting is like special ed, there is no such thing as context, or such things as dials. There is no such thing as dial parenting, move the dial to protect in one case; move it the other direction to not micromanage as much.

Context is everything, in fact the first few posts on this site was actually on this subject of context. Context is everything. Sure your severely autistic child may not be able to be fully independent, but perhaps they may be independent in one or two things; does that mean you should be micromanaging? If there is a benefit of the doubt or enough doubt that your child can be independent, then give them that benefit.

I probably will never have kids so I have really no clue what you people go through; all I can say is psychological-bubble wrapping hurts people with special needs worse. How can I learn things if I’m being talked down to like I’m in elementary school? How can I learn things if my folks do the same things they are teaching me to do? How will I learn? And to use the cliche, what will happen when my mother is no longer around?

And yet I’m not even close to being a genius and I can figure this out…

The 2016 Wish List

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For me to not be a hopeless autistic, I would love the following

  • Better accountability to the professional class once and for all – Anyone who works with special needs, or is in management or acts as “leader” has traditionally gotten away with ether abuse, slander/libel, Federal corruption, etc.
  • Redefining “Self Advocacy” Self advocacy today is an abusive practice, by enabling the professional class and not empowering the individual. People should be driving off the George Washington Bridge to get what they want. No parent or even individuals should have to go so far to get what they need.
  • Educating the Public on the Welfare system The welfare system is a very broad spectrum of service delivery, and sadly everyone wants to get rid of Medicaid, but the unintended consequences would hurt people with various disabilities to get through their day to day lives. I’ve had a right wing nut job of a school secretary tell me that I have more of an Asperger’s case and accused me for “smooching with the government.” I’m very bright till I go into a classroom and be threatened to death by some inexpierenced professor…
  • Changing and Modifying the adult systems. Hey guess what? Your kids’ autism won’t go away when they turn 21, so stop believing you can fully “cure” your kids autism. Also what will happen when your kid graduates on their birthday? Have you ever thought of “falling off the cliff”? What if you live in Manchester, that notorious area agency will give you a 100% promise that you may never get any services unless you cry and whine your bleedy hearts by that point give you at least some minimal supports.
  • Educate the educators I’ve talked about misinformation since the inception of this site, and sadly the “experts” often inappropriately teach people things to make them scared to even work with them. Where has that gone? Nowhere!

That’s all I ask for this year.

 

Teresa Bolick’s Dishonest Autism Agenda

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Over the last few months, I’ve brought up a reoccurring character named “Doctor” in name only Teresa Bolick, of Westford, Massachusetts and why she is causing the autism crisis in my state. She is a very odd individual that spends a lot of time in both the very racist and ablest state in Massachusetts and the state of New Hampshire, which over the last several years has started to follow Massachusetts’ lead of their ablest agenda (and yes it’s more than just the JRC as many advocates are in a hissy about.)

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What if…

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…I get screwed over with the changes in “Managed Care” in both the Medicaid insurance and waiver system?

…I get older and my mother won’t be able to care for me?

…I don’t find someone to fall in love and care for both me and the lady and vice versa?

…something worse happens to me, will I get care for?

…what happens when someone with autism ages?